是这样一个悲伤的故事，如果这是真的。

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线广告的carollwood出来的照片作出售用途的小女孩。

塔利娅沃森首次发现的晚的广告被张贴在周五的购物她自己的小婴儿玩具给她，报告坦帕湾的10connects。

“我碰到一个广告说，”品牌新的或很难使用，“所以我说，看到一些女试图出售她的孩子点击来了，”沃森说。

个广告是由一个“单亲妈妈”写的，它说，谁是“几乎没有18岁。” 写道：她的职业生涯是如何“只是踢了”，所以她是寻找一个家庭谁可以花时间给她的女儿。 写到，她甚至会“签订的销售帐单。”

“你为什么要卖掉你的女儿，我不能想象，”沃森说。 过最初的震惊，沃森对孩子担心了。

以，她发了封邮件到该网站的乡亲法律服务。 们很快回应说，他们会检讨张贴和与执法工作。

森希望广告是不是真实的，但作为一个母亲，她是不是愿意抓住这个机会。

“上帝禁止，什么事那个小女孩，我不希望，在我的肩膀知道这件事情我本来可以防止的。”

于沃森联系，网站，广告已被拆除。

一顶帽子的小费纳塔利娅沃森。

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尼利杰克逊是2008年3月因谋杀她的丈夫，贝克县陪审团拘捕了大约两个小时5月16日找到杰克逊，41岁的一级谋杀罪。 们拒绝了她自己的说法，她拍摄的格伦在圣玛丽回家一天凯文杰克逊，47岁，在自卫前离婚是最终决定。

曼达的麦克尼丹尼尔斯是陪审员之一。 5至10分钟后判决，她又回到了法庭，左正与杰克逊的儿子詹姆斯华莱士双手，

果，他们会在2003年和月“开回了谋杀”之后梅尼李杰克逊被逮捕，报告中的杰克逊维尔时报联盟 。

“'上有一个陪审团女孩，我的儿子现在打破了她的心和今天，她打破了他的心'，”杰克逊说，根据备忘录。

在，巡回法院法官詹姆斯nilon有法律dilemna。
可以下令重新审判，训诫或持有藐视法庭的丹尼尔斯或决定不采取行动是必要的。

克逊还没有被判刑，但面临终身监禁。 停留在贝克县监狱。

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妮卡弗赖尔发现约她男友的女性朋友的电脑信息。

并不让她感到高兴。

此，今年26岁的女子决定给她的男朋友，谁在克雷斯特维，生命的教训。

泡在他的客厅和卧室漂白剂，根据奥卡卢萨县警长办公室拘捕的报告。

赖尔被控刑事重罪的损失损害的事件中，估计造成4,000元，根据她的逮捕报告，报告中的西北佛罗里达日报。

是至少她开始用一块干净的石板。

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历山大河费尔南德斯，21，被击中脸部，而酒吧内的洛杉矶汉戈特在卢茨。 是，他在外面的车辆从他的蝙蝠。

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廉t博甘，26岁的酒吧内。 在外面，他从他的汽车，他的数码摄像机。

尔南德斯返回到前面的停车场，以对抗任何人打他。 甘则告诉人们殴打费尔南德斯，并采取了钱包，报告中街 圣彼得堡时报 。

他们 - 而博甘录得的战斗。

尔南德斯当时从后面解决人行道上降落。 名男子从费尔南德斯删除的蝙蝠，而其他人则取消他的钱包。 着费尔南德斯是在击中头部与蝙蝠。

件发生后几天，博甘返回与该视频的副本吧。 递给他们出来，张贴在youtube视频。

表们来到博甘家的搜查令，并拘捕四名男子marijauana其他收费。

“我很感谢他们对这些人有些钉说，”艾伦费尔南德斯，受害人的父亲。

频正义。

频在这里。

片：威廉t博甘
彼得堡时报

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起来他将需要一个非常好的律师。

斯廷辩护律师罗伯特斯科特白石打击了美国高速公路98和98德斯廷风景区公路路口，然后打车附近的另一个轨道车辆。

事故造成的严重交通备份和一宗意外是迎头相撞。

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是西北佛罗里达，我们知道你在想的三个咒语：酒精是涉及.....

会是，你也许是正确的。

师的脸“稍微红，”他的眼睛是“玻璃”和“水乡”，他的讲话含糊不清和难于理解。

以为他是陶醉严重，报告中的西北佛罗里达日报。

的律师事务所的网站，顺便提一句，说，在民事诉讼和刑事法律，包括毒品和家庭案件和达斯专业。

消防部门抵达现场，试图检查怀特黑德，他尝试投入齿轮的车辆的车程。 表们和消防队员一设法把车辆关闭，带走的钥匙。

特黑德说，他的副手是无法找到他的驾驶执照，登记或保险证明，报告指出。

过多次尝试，他发现他的登记和保险证明。

拒绝服从现场清醒测试，并已很难找到他的鞋子，把它们根据该报告。 终于把他的凉鞋一对他，但他们无法找到另外一个，它州。

出汽车，他偶然和对副价格下跌，推动他在墙上。
还拒绝向呼气测试，后来问他叫副驾驶室。

的下一个电话：一个律师。

文：罗伯特斯科特怀特海
佛罗里达日报

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面是一个热情洋溢的祖父的故事。

翰w ·威廉斯和他的涂料是如此参与，他并没有注意到他2岁的孙子被挂出了他的车窗。

就是如何霍布桑德居民来到马丁县警察的注意。

孩子挂在窗外是不是一个好兆头。

廉姆斯告诉警察，他刚刚出了大麻烟的时候，他停了下来。

他们在搜查他的汽车，他们发现了锅旅行箱和一个可卡因马尼拉信封里。

廉姆斯，43，被逮捕，轻罪和重罪藏有大麻藏有可卡因的罪名。 2岁的孙子被释放到他的母亲。

表们发表威廉姆斯抑制男童交通引文未能在驾驶时，报告tcpalm。

走，格兰普斯。 何约束自己？

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政府官员正在推动的计划已经提上了大沼泽地入侵缅甸蟒蛇1奖金。

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“如果我们能够派人到月球，我们可以找出如何让这些蛇赶走，”罗恩说，野生物处长伯杰龙。

一种动物专员，罗德尼巴雷托，愿意投入资金10,000美元，让他自己的方案开始，报告的圣 圣彼得堡时报 。

甸蟒蛇，非本土物种，被认为是最具破坏性的外来种入侵的一个沼泽地，以及最难以捉摸的。

邦官员估计有可能超过15万，他们通过对草河slithering。

些生物学家杀害蟒蛇肚子鹿和山猫队。

请注意 - 这是强大的蛇。 园的生物学家斯诺跳过带来一个大黑盒子的行程。 出来，他和另外两名生物学家拉一个16英尺长的巨蟒，他们在公园里捕获的。 采取了一切他们三人举行的纳尔逊，萨拉萨尔和美国众议员肯德里克米克下来，以获得良好的外观。

找蟒蛇可能是该方案的最困难的部分。 些生物学家已抓获的蟒蛇，把他们微小发射机，然后释放到野外回尝试追查等。 们报告他们在那里站在那个地方的无线电信号应该说，蟒蛇，但他们绝对没有任何权利可以看到几个实例。

异。

文：[美联社/大沼泽地国家公园（2005）]
个6英尺的美国鳄鱼尸体可以看到从一个13英尺长的缅甸巨蟒中段伸出后显然试图吞下由沼泽地国家公园2005年的照片提供了这种鳄鱼蛇。

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答：martissa，45，拖欠超过11万美元的子女抚养费，根据司法usdepartment。

被发现犯有故意陪审团没有一个由联邦政府支付子女抚养费，并面临最多入狱2年，报告的坦帕论坛报 。

帕斯科县爸爸“没有做出任何一项自愿付款。”

猜他的训练没有参加。

martissa是债务咨询业务总监，

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尼斯威特似乎邻居，同事一样顺利杂耍的工作和家庭的责任，女人和其他学校的家长。

38岁的可能已经找到了破解这个星期，警方说，她耗尽多个银行帐户，采取了同事的驾驶执照，伪造有关被911报警电话在汽车行李箱塞满，并登上她九一航班岁的女儿去迪斯尼世界，报告msnbc.com 。

述呼吁引发了两人结束30小时后，当警察铐在宾夕法尼亚州的女人当她和孩子在游乐园回到了自己的酒店疯狂的搜索。

么多生活在幻想世界。

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是缺少莱克兰高毕业典礼？

级斯蒂芬弗兰岑，这是谁。

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兰岑有4.0全球行动纲领;发生在波克社区学院的课程;并在国民警卫队也。

“我每周工作20小时。我去两个整天不停陆军国民卫队。然后，我去上学，然后我做我的大学课程，”弗兰岑说。

他不能走路的正式仪式中与他的阶级，报告10connects。

因是：他错过了排练一毕业，因为他说他正和另外一个是晚15分钟，因为他睡过头了。

只去学校的前三个阶段，然后他去波克社区学院上课。 时间表，他说，不断听到来自最公布了他。

实上，他错过了其他活动，如他自己找票的研究生巴什党。

兰岑并获得毕业文凭，并得到他，但他只是没有得到他的课走路。

然他希望他能回去的时间，使彩排，他知道他不能。

此，在这一点上，他只是希望自己的主意一夜之间主要变化。

“毕竟是艰苦的工作，只是失望。”

以，你怎么想？ 应该走？

影：斯蒂芬弗兰岑。 10connects

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有这样尼斯维尔 - 再次。

名13岁男童涉嫌非法侵入后，他承认花费在鲁克尔中学体育馆晚上与一个女孩的部分，按照1尼斯维尔警察局。

和女孩去健身房并留校直到凌晨3:30

说，女孩把一门以上的胶带一块，所以不能锁定，这就是他们如何得到英寸

后，他们来到尼斯维尔高中在那里发现了一个上锁的窗口，爬上英寸

们住那里，直到上午6:30左右，报告西北每日新闻。

说，“只是运气”，他们得到了进来

此，他们做了什么？

个男孩告诉警方，他们打篮球，亲吻和交谈。

一切？

... 许他只是一个从尼斯维尔好人。

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拉克的菲什坎普，海滨餐厅杰克逊维尔，是作为其装入收集著名动物作为其异国食品 - 包括鳄鱼尾巴 - 在其菜单。

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近，它被关闭了一个星期，由于洪水从所有的雨水。

然清理了男子浴室，餐厅的老板抓住了尾巴的现场，4英尺长的鳄鱼，民政事务总署在涝渍避难，报告news4jax。

“我认为这是一个鱼或鳗鱼或什么，我都抓住了尾巴是回来，”琼人民说。 “我下了车，开始找，他就在后面的马桶...我说，'噢我的上帝，这是一个婴儿鳄鱼！”

果你想知道 - 这个鳄鱼没有土地的菜单上。

员拖累的gator输出 - 踢和尖叫 - 并载于胡灵顿河是免费的。

至少它没有最终的菜单上。

片：4英尺长的鳄鱼在男人的房间里发现摊位克拉克菲什坎普。
news4jax.com

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是不是对接亲吻你在办公室找到一种。

这种情况下，一个男人和女人在看一场电影，喝啤酒时，她决定去到他的卧室里睡着了。

来他加入了她。

在，22岁的男子被控克雷斯特维电池后，女子与他睡觉醒来，发现他吻她的屁股，根据他的奥卡卢萨县警长办公室的逮捕报告。

来后，她都不喜欢她的裤子和内衣找到拉低到她的脚踝和亲吻她的臀部的家伙和触摸她的腿。

告诉警察，她尖叫，起身离开，报告西北佛罗里达日报 。

的故事：他忘了她是在床上，以为她是他的“妈妈宝宝”，这就是为什么他把她的裤子下来，并开始亲吻她的臀部。

她醒来开始尖叫，他意识到自己的错误，并试图向他们道歉。 时已晚。 跑了出去。

告诉他的副手必须有“封杀”，因为他不知道谁在他的床。

好的尝试。

好是离开的对接工作接吻。

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来一个！ 来一个！

墨西哥湾沿岸高中乐队局长罗伯特奥斯汀韩山明看起来是活生生的历史一遍。

利尔县治安官的调查员逮捕，指控他的成员，他已与一个十几岁的参与性关系乐队报告naplesnews.com

回20年。 山明是乐队主任在诺克罗斯，格鲁吉亚高中，突然辞职。

其原因，据该期间法院和报纸的报道，是8月30日，1988年，学校官员怀疑他与一名17岁的学生关系到汉堡，戴安娜丽莎汉考克，谁持有该乐队的鼓主要最高职位。

女童的父母辩称当时是韩山明是有“一个非法的，不道德的关系，”与他们的女儿。

无论如何，两人还就结婚。

们还在一起生活的尽管不是很爽快，根据哈伯格。

告诉女孩，他涉嫌与该事件有一个他有婚姻问题，根据他的逮捕报告。

家青年告诉她一直在与汉堡的性关系自2008年12月进行调查。

说，这种关系与调情起步，发展到制造出来，在从事性行为 - 包括性交 - 多次在海湾地区高，在汉堡的住所，并在他的车从1月到4月。

个女孩给了警察一个汉堡的家的详细说明，告诉他们身穿黑色马球汉堡拳手内裤和使用skyn避孕套，并介绍韩山明的生殖器和身体，一肿块或痣对他的腹部左侧提的，报告说。

据搜查令，调查人员收集黑色马球从汉堡的家拳师内裤。 们还注意到他的家和身体的照片。

山明已经保税走出监狱，但他扮演一个悲伤的调子。

片：罗伯特韩山明和妻子黛安娜

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始于一个孔雀救援。

市议员吉姆塔克，76，说他接到了沃尔顿堡滩警方电话说发现了一个孔雀的圣罗莎街，问是否是他。

克说，他不知道，但会检查。

过网罗和捕获的8英尺高的孔雀，塔克和他的员工一有回升一点麻烦，他试图加载它到，报告中的西北佛罗里达日报。

且，是的，我们想知道的8脚，太。 是，这到底怎么回事说。

名军官打断他的负荷，以确保他们的努力意味着鸟没有危害。

员要求出示身份证，但是塔克没有遵守。

反，根据逮捕的报告，他跳进他的小卡车和备份，几乎触及了警察，他逃离现场。

好的事情。

管如此，有关人员的命令，他在那里逗留，塔克开车离去。

使是糟糕的做法。

后的警察。

克注意到警察在与闪灯他说，他认为这是一个护送。

“我想，'这是很对她'的精神，作出了说明，感谢我护送她亲切，”他说。

。

警察终于停止了路障塔克的每小时25英里逃脱。

“我一直在笑过这整个下午都在监狱里说，'我怎么会到这里的，”他说。

有孔雀字。 塔克是触犯了法律。

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德里安坦帕凯格勒在他的suv乘客座位时，他的儿子阿德里安凯格勒小，试图把车离开，撞上另一辆赛车。

爸是喝醉了。 的孩子是12。

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他驱动程序为8个月的身孕，并要求将要采取的预防措施，作为一个医院。

幸没有其他人员伤亡的报道，都车辆轻微受损，报告中的圣 圣彼得堡时报

在凯格勒已被控以实际损害重大过失，允许未经授权的人，以推动及疏忽照顾儿童

亲节快到了。 许可以得到一个新的少年爸爸。

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，什么是妈妈。

来她说她15岁的儿子是确定有老师与他的性别，报告sunsentinel.com

果你错过了这个故事，一海亚利亚宗教学校老师是一个青少年性与电池充电 - 两小时后返回从迪斯尼世界旅行家最近。

实上，警察正准备与有关问题的8年级学生的事，除了她和她的学生出城 - 在迪斯尼世界度假。

她回来星期六，32岁的玛丽亚古兹曼埃尔南德斯，六年级的老师承认海厄利亚警察，她会曾与15岁的性行为。

玛丽亚埃尔南德斯古斯曼

被控对儿童性电池过她的人羁押的权力。

这里是真正的令人震惊：这个男孩的母亲告诉警察与儿童及家庭部的调查，她认为这种关系是确定。

尔南德斯和青少年的性关系有一个'' ''数个月，男孩告诉警方，他们已'' ''性活跃3月以来，根据一份警方报告。

国总理的会晤在学校。

方发言人说，阿海亚利亚夫妇的浪漫遇到许多在公寓与他的母亲同意男孩发生。

''她显然没有发现任何不妥，认为老师是一个不错的足够的人对她的儿子和一个良好的影响，''他说。

''她没有看到什么错，那是个挑战，''说杰奎科利尔，在迈阿密dcf的办公室主任。

，学校的名称：圣母仁爱，

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一步如何？

罗里达州已经是著名的鳄鱼和鲨鱼的攻击。 且不要忘了飓风，蚊子和爱的错误。

们最新的祸害 - 蟒蛇。

些蛇可达到23英尺长，重200磅。 们还吞并200磅的食物1年。

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在，这里的兴奋的消息。

可能超过2000范围主要在南部萨拉索塔县在三年内，除非有人做缅甸蟒蛇对经济增长的巨大蛇的事，梅格洛曼说，在新的环保措施学院主任。

竟，62蟒蛇被发现在2004年的大沼泽地和估计现在把他们高达3.0万人口，洛曼说。

蛇躺在100鸡蛋1年，甚至假设，超过六成的受访者不使其到成年，数量迅速增加。 一假设是有10个为每个已发现一蟒蛇。

蛇能变成一个大的经济发展产生不利蠕变因素，洛曼说。 “也许，一个是最有可能破坏我们的经济，因为我不知道人们想要去挂蟒蛇与远足径。”

个月，英国广播公司报道，蟒蛇已经把一名肯尼亚男子成一树，该名男子以避免成为覆盖蛇的mawing与他的衬衫口小吃。 10月，弗吉尼亚滩女子被发现死在窒息的宠物蟒蛇的笼子面前说谎。

“至少我们没有灰熊，”开玩笑弗吉尼亚哈利，在萨拉索塔县观光会议主席团主席。

片：美联社档案照片在大沼泽地，一个在python网站数量急剧上升，生物学家把在这个10英尺的蛇，在2006年发布的，希望以跟踪其运动，找到要删除的其他蛇类一发射机。

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有少数人能看性感的机油。

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72岁前性感女郎模型南希迪塞尔仍然是其中之一。

过期间作为潘佐尔石油公司原来的“20世纪60年代竹篙潘佐尔旋风超级生命”，这是奶奶再次在镜头前，举起一夸脱的油。

年早些时候，宾夕法尼亚州博物馆把一个原来的“竹篙潘佐尔”的模式，希望她将在石油工业的第150周年庆祝活动的一部分全国性的搜索。

联社记者对她进行跟踪迪塞尔19楼哈伦代尔公寓。

年夏天晚些时候，迪塞尔将出演产品，报告她的竹篙潘佐尔作用前往宾夕法尼亚州的积极性石油推出一长，真人大小的雕像，她是与青年事务委员会的腿和黑色的光滑南佛罗里达太阳哨兵。

“我一直非常忙碌准备。我已经损失了大约10磅，”迪塞尔说。 “看脚，都必须投保。他们仍然看好，对不对？”

初由buffalo，迪塞尔约22时，她于1960年选定的68个女孩谁的模特儿工作试镜。 司官员参观了她的父母得到他们的许可。

好吧，这是 60年代。

“他们希望确保我能处理一叉，并能够受理每晚约450人，说：”迪塞尔。 “他们知道我的外貌了。”

最近的一次拍摄，迪塞尔表明，她的造型技巧是从生锈远。

容相机，高球亲吻，她的睫毛和飘扬黄金手套构成，迪塞尔工作了。 没有跳过1击败当摄影师问她，为她的床上姿势，带有油可以。

“难道你不觉得这可能是有点过于淫秽的？” 塞尔问。 “哦，谁在乎。这是关于制定石油性感。”

多图片的潘佐尔的性感女郎女孩。

片：南希迪塞尔，现年72岁，是20世纪60年代潘佐尔模型。 （图片南锡迪塞尔提供）

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，楼.......

大概就是在一些教师认为当他们看到沃尔顿堡滩高中年鉴。

年鉴编辑工作人员已经隐藏在了60页的底部的“f字的标题”。

题每个字母第一次被安排在了大胆红色和拼写单词了四张照片，报告巴拿马城新闻先驱。

“如果我写出来的孩子谁可以做这个名单，我从来没有包括她的名字，”主要查couvillon说，学生。

一项由学生家长和学校共同决定，贴纸是打印到改变标题，然后贴在网页上出现的淫秽。

学生的父母支付的更正。

来是一个非常昂贵的教训中编辑。

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觉更好吗？

，她不是。

一个女人告诉警察她的布雷登顿医生摸索着她，她没有感觉它的所有罚款。

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的故事：她到博士gangadhararao chapalamadugu，众所周知，作为企业管治饶他的病人，为考试。

，一个内科和肺疾病布雷登顿医生，据称该女子开始接触时，他开始重新审视她。

脱下自己的胸罩，据说她的乳房从她开始摸索，报告的布雷登顿先驱报

后，他向她转过身去，靠在检查表。 称，他紧紧贴在女人的背上，他的身体的前面。 觉得她的胸部和压缩为“如果他们发挥面团她的臀部，”根据报告。

后，他走遍了受害者的前，据说她的左乳房放在他的嘴里。

告诉警方，她推开他，告诉他：“你知道，这是不对的。”

名女子到了警方的同一天。 曾去拉奥两个呼吸系统疾病治疗的一年。

于她的下一个约会，她来到一个隐藏的相机配备和麦克风。

侦探'观看录像，饶解除了妇女的宽松背心只是把她的胸部听诊器。

“你自己都不太上周，”女人告诉饶。

“我很抱歉，”拉奥说，根据报告。

“你欠我为我的乳房放在嘴里道歉，”女人说。

“我很抱歉，”拉奥说，再次，根据该报告。

有足够的遗憾。

来，这不是第一次报道饶女病人。 2002年8月，另一名女子出面说明饶放在她的胸部在他的嘴里考试。

这种情况下，国家检察长办公室，并提出了延期起诉协议的拉奥有一个预审干预方案。

此可见，美国商务部需要一个新的药物剂量。

文：博士gangadhararao chapalamadugu，布雷登顿先驱报

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无因次纯粹主义者 - 公平警告。

是一个快乐，奇怪的新闻位。 且，正如你所知，我们喜欢的东西混合起来。

此，我们不能抗拒理查德瑞安告诉你。

是81和越来越鹰级童子军荣誉 - 最后。

父亲的泰特斯维尔瑞安市经理马克赢得年前的荣誉近65，报告今日佛罗里达。

二战的方式了。

he enlisted in the navy before he could be officially honored.

richard ryan's grandson, third-generation eagle scout joshua ryan, pinned the badge on his grandfather in a ceremony in florence, sc

sweet, huh?

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in the latest version of cops gone wild, we have palm beach county deputy robert kijanka, 39, showing a porn movie to several teenaged inmates.

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other inmates later told investigators that kijanka, who they only knew as "deputy kj" showed five juvenile inmates -- ages 13 to 17 -- a video of men and women committing a sex act with each other.

inmates also said kijanka showed them pictures of his wife wearing a bra and short pants.

when questioned, kijanka admitted showing the inmates the porn movie and then lending it to the inmates for several weeks, reports the south florida sun-sentinel .

he also said to detectives, according to the report: "was it stupid on my part? yes, it was."

also joining the naughty cops club is ariel d. valentin, 31, a florida highway patrol trooper arrested on allegations that he followed a woman to her home, made her strip naked and then coerced her to have sex with him to avoid a traffic citation or a trip to jail.

the woman said valentin pulled her over after she was involved in a minor car accident near her home in palm springs.

after he told the other driver to leave the scene, the woman said she told valentin that both drivers were fine and she wanted to leave, pointing to her home nearby.

later he 'fessed up and admitted to palm springs police that he told the woman he had to search her within her house.

after taking off her clothes, he asked the woman for a condom, reports the south florida sun-sentinel .

he's charged with sexual battery and bribery and was being held at the palm beach county jail.

he's no longer a cop.

well, yeah, we hope not.

photo: palm beach county sheriff's office

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unemployed and need a lift?

and we mean a real lift.

tribeca medaesthetics in fort lauderdale will give grants for cosmetic work including botox, dermal fillers, facials, waxing and laser lipolysis to folks looking for work.

recipients can get up to $3,000 worth of work done for free, reports the south florida sun-sentinel.

tribeca says it's looking for job seekers in their thirties and older who "wish to look younger in today's competitive job market."

to win, contestants must submit a 200-word essay about "their unemployment circumstances," according to a release from tribeca.

twenty winners will be chosen on june 1. for more information or to submit your essay, call 954-760-4370 or visit www.tribecamed.com.

all fine and good. but here's the part that made us chuckle. people in their 30s are eligible.

的，不错。 that's when you really need the botox.

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金属埃金斯开始与他的邻居“战争”。

“他希望战争，因此，我给了他，”埃金斯告诉警方，他解释说：“他是受戏弄，累了，所以他想表明什么是真正的战争的模样。”

是，他撞上了隔壁的房子1992年本田。

达的时候kissimeee警察，埃金斯坐在飞机残骸外，手持一把斧头，攻击他流血斗殴与房主，报告奥兰多哨兵。

攻击开始时，科里希尔睡着了在他家的客厅。 者通过汽车音响震动破壁他清醒。

到他的名字被尖叫，希尔说，他后来埃金斯解决的时刻。

起一张椅子，希尔撞倒埃金斯下来，扔在反对他的客厅电视，该报告说。

“我们与这位先生的历史，”米勒说，警方发言人斯塔西，谁拒绝讨论埃金斯'可追溯到1992年逮捕数。

金斯...再次被捕。

这些家伙的声音正在从人们的潘汉德尔教训。

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st. petersburg has a free wheelin' beach.
st. pete, who 'da thunk it?

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it's pinellas county's redneck riviera, a spit of sand on the south side of gandy boulevard.
it's a beach occasionally called beer can beach. a beachgoer once dubbed this place the gandy ghetto yacht club and beach resort. it isn't mentioned on the web site for the st. petersburg/clearwater area convention & visitors bureau.

pickup trucks with confederate flag tags on the front and homemade barbecue grills in the back are nestled into the mangrove shade, sending small crabs for cover. many trucks bristle with fishing poles.

mary fields is a big fan of this beach because she doesn't much care for an untanned tush.
"at the other beaches, you can't wear your t-back, you can't have a beer," she says. "you can't drive on the beach or play your music, or bring your dog for a walk."
"if that's the reputation it has," she says, "rock on."

behind her, a big mixed breed dog on a leash sniffs a piece of flotsam on the beach, lifts its leg, does its business and walks on. no worries here.

the water is tidal-basin warm and murky. the progress energy power plant looms directly to the south. ice cream vendors in vans cruise up and down the beach behind the parked cars, bubbling with those melodious tones: "do your ears hang low … "

linda csiki is a hot dog vendor here. a short time ago, a man pulled up in a truck a few yards from csiki's hot dog stand and asked if she could bring him a hot dog. she complied.
"he was wearing a short skirt and fishnet stockings," csiki recalls with a giggle.

another time, another customer pulled up and made the same request. csiki prepared the dog and walked it over to the truck, reports the tampa tribune . "he didn't have any pants on," she says. "i did call the law on him."

marianne pasha, with the pinellas county sheriff's office, says that only on gandy beach could a bag full of cremains wash ashore and few beachgoers raise eyebrows.

despite the cremains it remains beer can beach.

photo: beachgoers enjoy the sun on the stretch of sand along gandy boulevard.
tribune photo by michael spooneybarger

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ken conklin of st. petersburg has a turtle named myrtle.

she's about a foot long, green and slimy.

conklin bought myrtle in 1998 when she was the size of a quarter.

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she comes when he calls. she lets him throw her like a frisbee into her pond in his back yard and then — very slowly — she comes back for more.

his neighbors will tell you that she's like a child to him, reports the st. petersburg times.

myrtle has company -- 22 turtles in all, chicken turtles, red ear sliders, musk turtles.

there's speedy and slowpoke. perfume and cologne. monique and unique. tri-bob. he's got three legs.

明白了。

but now the $25,000 home conklin has built in his back yard for myrtle — the pond that now also holds chickenbutt and chickenhead and the other turtles — has become the subject of a city permitting fuss.

conklin calls it a zen garden.

the city of st. petersburg calls it an unapproved room addition. they also consider it a "mechanical structure."

if he doesn't comply with city laws, he could face a $500 a day fine.

giving up what he has created for myrtle and the other turtles isn't an option, he says.

he'll try his best to comply with the city because his wife, kim, doesn't want to be in trouble.

but myrtle and the other turtles come first.

photo: ken conklin says of myrtle: “it's just like having a connection with a dog or a cat. …she trusts me and i trust her.”
[chris zuppa | times]

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fishing used to be a skillful sport.

者我们是这么认为。

no need to wait until you bait a fish.

just shock it.

florida fish and wildlife conservation commission law enforcement officers found derek lee hurley, 39, bryan keith miller, 27, and wilmer powell, 39, taking catfish from the choctawhatchee river, reports the northwest florida daily news.

but not the old-fashioned way.

officers seized an electro-shocking device with cables and chains along with a 14-foot gheenoe, 35-horsepower motor, boat trailer, two long-handled dip nets and four catfish.

this kind of fishing is punishable by a fine of up to $500 and the possibility of 60 days of jail time.

guess they'll be shocked.

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we only rent beer. we don't buy it.

it stays with us such a short time a trip to the restroom is usually de rigeur when we visit our local pub.

but we know how to mark our territory in bars.

so does everyone else -- like tilting their bar stools towards the bar or leaving their drink near their cigarettes.

louis brunoforte, 46, thought he'd marked his territory well during a visit to dunedin's chic-a-boom room. he left his bud on the counter.

but when he returned, a woman in business attire had her purse on the chair and was rummaging through it.

brunoforte, a 6-foot, 240-pound attorney and former high-school boxer thought she was using his chair temporarily, so he stood by.

but then, the woman, rachel adams, 45, apparently took umbrage at his presence and asked if he had a problem.

one comment led to another.

when she asked him to find another chair, he told her: "well, i kind of like this chair."

then the two traded insults, reports the aba law journal.

and then ka-boom!!

adams, 5-foot-8, 140-pounds, hit him right in the mouth.

"she threw a punch like a man would throw a punch," recounts brunoforte, who says he was "coldcocked" by the punch.

"i didn't fall, but my head jolted back. she completely caught me off guard. i didn't expect it."

brunoforte says he now uses a cane and a brace and -- guess what-- he's considering a lawsuit.

after she left, adams was later pulled over and charged with driving under the influence and misdemeanor simple battery.

there's a lesson for you. don't slug a lawyer.

photo: kelly's chic a boom room

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why'd theresa platt become a mother?

because she's doing such a rotten job of it.

the port st. lucie mom is accused of letting her 3-year-old twins and 6-year-old son sleep in a bed full of ants. the children's legs allegedly had severe insect bites, some fresh and some scarred over, reports tcpalm .

but it gets worse.

a woman who befriended her told cops that platt didn't feed her children properly and hit them in anger.

“i don't want my kids, you can have them!” platt is quoted as saying. ”i don't want to take care of them!”

“there's an old saying, you can pick your friends but not your family,” sheriff ken mascara said. “these children were dealt with this mother who really had no parenting skills and no sense of responsibility for their well being.”

the mom will fare better in jail where she'll get three square meals a day and a clean bed.

we hope her kids do as well.

photo: theresa platt, tcpalm

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we call this a "teachable moment."

because katelyn blaylock, 18, probably won't forget that texting while driving has bad consequences.

cops say the high school student was ditching class when she crashed into a police car, theledger.com reports.

at the time, she was texting on her phone.

blaylock, driving with two friends in her car, apparently didn't see a red light and ran into a police car that was stopped at the intersection.

blaylock and her front passenger had minor injuries.

blaylock was cited with careless driving.

omg.....

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the home invaders had a knife.

but morblee gillette, 76, had a meat cleaver.

so when two people tried to rob him at knife point in his panama city home, they had a surprise coming.

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as it turned out, gillette, 76, turned the table on his robbers by bringing a meat cleaver to the knife fight, reports the panama city news herald.

"he was trying to cut me," gillette said. "mostly, i was trying to get away from that knife and get back to that meat cleaver. that changed everything when i got that meat cleaver."

panama city police said tanquilla nicole pearson, 32, knocked on gillette's door.

gillette knew pearson so he let her in. brandon govan, 19, came into gillette's house behind her armed with a hook knife.

"i told him, 'i ain't got much money, but you can get what i got. i got to get it all together for you,'" gillette said, chuckling. "we kept tussling and i kept moving back to where the meat cleaver was. i reached like i was getting my money and i got my meat cleaver."

that's when the conversation ended.

gillette said the robber didn't say a word as he scrambled through the living room toward the front door.

gillette didn't know what he would have done if he'd caught the robber. but once he got out the door, gillette let him go.

"i wasn't going to give him nothing," gillette said when asked why he didn't simply give the robber his wallet. "i never did get scared. if i'd got scared and acted like i was going to give him what he wanted, he might would have messed me up.

police arrested pearson and govan and charged them with armed home invasion.

gillette is probably still chuckling.

photo: terry barner | the news herald two attackers burst through the back door of morblee gillette's panama city home and cut him with a knife while demanding his money,

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glad we don't share dna with this woman.

beverly edwards of arden, nc, dumped her 96-year-old aunt at a bradenton salvation army shelter.

then again, she was in a hurry. she was headed to disney world.

edwards left several bags containing her aunt's medications, urine-soaked clothes and rotten food.

employees also said edwards told them she had no plans to return for her aunt, reports the bradenton herald.

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“they couldn't wait to leave, got the bags out of the car as fast as they could and literally pushed her out of the car,” said m. ashley butler of aging safely inc., the woman's emergency temporary guardian.

“i thought i was doing the right thing, putting her in a safe place until she had a permanent place to stay,” edwards said. “i didn't dump her. i love her.”

hate to think what she'd do if she didn't like her.

photo: tiffany tompkins-condie/ttompkins@bradenton.com officials say an elderly woman was dumped at the salvation army.

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ohmmmmmmm my god.

he's doing yoga -- naked.

check out the photos at sunsentinel.com

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here's an answer to the housing crisis.

just move into a closet.

it worked for sergio santos of delray beach who lost his job as an architect in january, reports sunsentinel.com.

he negotiated with a delray beach landlord to rent a room that's smaller than many south florida closets — 5 1/2 by 14 feet.

it's so small that he can touch both walls if he stretches out his arms.

"the landlord had a larger place available, but he wanted $350 a month," santos said. "i asked if he would rent me this small room that has a place for the telephone, internet and security system. i pay only $150 a month and i love it."

们这样做，太。 just think how quick it would be to clean.

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sun sentinel photo by scott fisher

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andy warhol got it right. everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.

then there's amy chesser, 26, of bonita springs who found fame twice.

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chesser is queen of the swamp. and that's a real title.

she's the first woman to win big feature in the swamp buggy race's 59-year history, a feat she accomplished again this year.

she comes from a family of award-winning racers and was dating brian langford, a big feature winner from a racing family.

the swamp queen and mr. big...

but there was a problem. mr. big feature was married to eliza masco, 39, of naples.

on aug. 15, 2007 chesser experienced a different kind of fame.

on that day chesser's and masco's lives were changed in a fight that involved the man in their life.

they mixed it up and masco suffered a fractured right eye socket, a broken nose, a concussion, a detached retina, broken teeth, cuts, bruises, and neurological damage. she testified she hasn't been able to work — she'd done dermabrasions — and can't drive due to blurred vision, reports the naples daily news.

yesterday a naples jury found the swamp queen guilty of felony battery. she faces up to five years in prison on the third-degree felony she was convicted of, but that's not likely because she has no record.

kinda muddied the swamp queen's career.

photo: queen of the swamp: amy chesser, naples daily news

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there's nothing like telling the truth. the plain and simple truth. no spin.

so we're loving the 48-year-old guy trying to cage a drink at a fort walton beach intersection with a sign that read, "god bless."

when confronted by a cop, he told the truth. he was trying to get something to drink, reports the northwest florida daily news .

in fact, he had another sign with him.

it read: "why lie, need a drink."

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you haven't lived until you've waited tables at a florida restaurant.

among my fondest memories of waitressing on palm beach in my youth:

the woman who pitched a screaming fit because her red snapper, when cooked, wasn't.....red.

and the party of five who ordered lavish lobster dinners and endless bottles of wine but were so tipsy -- or tight-- they couldn't manage a tip.

oh, i could go on and on.

but instead, i'll just tell you the story about the okaloosa man who skipped on his $45.25 dinner bill.

when the waitress returned with the guy's declined credit card, he took off running.

when cops arrived at aj's seafood and oyster bar they learned the guy also took the bartender's tip jar that held about $27, reports the northwest florida daily news .

nice move, huh....

the cops caught him, we're especially glad to report. because some restaurants hold the wait staff accountable for the unpaid bill when the diner bails.

btw, i'm sure others can top my fabulous memories of servicing the rude and the crude.

waiters and waitresses -- past and present. feel free to vent. you've already got my sympathy.

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it started during a day of patriotism.

it's ending with....

well, we've blogged enough about confederate flag flaps to know the controversy is never going to end.

the latest battle:

the sons of confederate veterans waved the confederate battle flag as they marched for the first time in a veterans day parade in homestead last november.

six months later, the miami-dade chapter of the national association for the advancement of colored people has launched a campaign to prevent future public displays of the flag, a divisive symbol that speaks of racial wounds to some and southern heritage to others, reports tcpalm.

supporters of the confederate flag wrote to the miami herald.

''i don't understand why, in 2008 as we are all taught to be tolerant, people cannot be tolerant of me as a white southern man and my right to fly a confederate flag,'' said david ''chili'' baglin of cutler bay.

``the confederate flag is not a symbol of racism to me. it is only a symbol of my southern heritage that i am proud of.''

the naacp and black residents who met over the matter were not swayed.

''we're calling a press conference on june 11 at homestead city hall,'' bishop victor curry, president of the miami-dade naacp chapter, told an audience of nearly 200 people.

curry pledged that the naacp would register new voters and raise the issue of the flag if council members didn't ban it from future parades.

five of the seven council members will be up for reelection in november, including the mayor.

''someone is going to be a casualty,'' curry said.

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we've all had a neighbor from hell.

alan davis is a neighbor from the junk yard.

the seminole county guy gained national attention for littering his yard with junk, a crime that – along with probation violations – earned him four years behind bars.

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as he sees it, he began a political protest 10 years ago by littering his yard and roof with junk like scrap metal, airplane parts and toilets.

and our personal favorite: a giant statue of human buttocks.

in 2003 a jury convicted davis of felony criminal littering and a judge sentenced him to one year in state prison.

but shortly after he got out, he was taken back into custody on charges of several probation violations, reports clickorlando.

after spending more than four years in jail total, davis is being released again.

we can imagine homeowner associations all over the state holding their collective breath.

photo: clickorlando

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how's this for a bargain?

"i don't take money for sex," ashley m. hollin, 26, of leesburg, told the cop. "i take money for company and the sex is free."

hollin's comments came just before she was about to be arrested for the second time that day.

according to a cop report, hollin told the officer she had learned something from her earlier arrest -- accept cash for companionship, not sex, reports the orlando sentinel .

"see, i learned from making the mistake last night with the police -- if i do it this way they can't get me for it," hollin said, according to a police report.

uh, wrong.

asked about hollin's logic, leesburg police lt. rob hicks said, "i don't think there's any shortage of creativity -- it's the world's oldest profession."

photo: ashley marie hollin (lake county sheriff's office / may 19, 2009)
orlando sentinel

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cue the jaws music.

lee county wants to sponsor a shark fest, the naples news reports.

the two-day event on fort myers beach hopes to get folks out to local beaches where they'll spend money.

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but maybe a shark tournament isn't the wisest choice, argues lee county commission chairman ray judah.

at its web site, are you man enough shark challenge , organizers acknowledge a debate over harvesting sharks.

for instance, there's a $1,000 prize for the largest shark caught.

and the image of giant sharks isn't something the fort myers beach chamber of commerce is promoting.

yeah, it doesn't exactly make you want to run to the beach.

“we certainly want to continue to promote safe and attractive beaches,” said chamber executive john albion. “admittedly this doesn't help that.”

boat captain bob gutierrez has been on southwest florida waters for 35 years.

“if people only knew how many sharks there are around,” he said. “this time of year there's lots of sharks in here.”

here's an idea: show the jaws flick.

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pity the poor mobster trying to go straight in florida.

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joseph milano, 41, aka joey calco, is a former mob hit man turned federal witness now facing two charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and two charges of possession of a firearm by a convicted felon.

什么？

well, joey got ticked off at customers who got ticked off about a calzone.

see, joey has a palm coast restaurant, goomba's pizzeria, where cops say he assaulted two customers who were demanding a refund for a botched calzone order.

the calzone affair led to the discovery of his former life as joey calco. it also exposed the identities and locations of family members to people who want him dead, milano said.

milano's defense?

it's hard to kick that mob training.

milano told a reporter he "reacted harshly" that january night in his restaurant.

he called it an unanticipated byproduct of his past life as a hit man for new york's bonanno crime family and the sicilian mafia, reports the daytona beach news journal.

he said the irate customers, later identified as jack kilburne and richard capie, threatened to blow up his business and hurt his family and teenage employees.

milano said one of the men appeared to reach into his pocket for something while issuing the threats and he reacted in self-defense.

in his "old life" growing up on new york city's crime-ridden bath avenue, milano explained, such a moment often meant a deadly game of "russian roulette" was under way. he said he reacted by striking kilburne with a gun he kept under the counter.

but the incident in his restaurant "should never have happened," milano said. "i should have called the cops."

bet he never thought he'd been saying that.

photo: nj | david massey
joseph milano and wife kristy head into the courtroom at the kim c. hammond justice center in bunnell tuesday.

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obsessive love isn't pretty.

in the panhandle it's pretty darn ugly.

a crestview mom called the cops after her daughter's ex-boyfriend drove within 500 feet of their house.

that violates an injunction, which doesn't allow him to have any contact with the daughter, who's a minor.

memo to guys in the panhandle: this isn't 1850. we notice a trend in underage mating and dating there. in case you can't read the statutes, that's asking for serious trouble.

the ex-boyfriend, who's 20, sat in the bed of a pick-up and "waved and yelled" as he passed the house.

the daughter told police that she recognized her ex-boyfriend by the tattoo on his cheek and that he shouted, "boom, like i guess he's going to shoot or blow something up," according to his arrest report.

but it's the panhandle mating call that really caught our attention.

the new boyfiend said the ex- had done "his little redneck scream whoooooo, really loud to where we could hear it" as the truck drove away, reports the naples news.

another witness said he yelled, "redneck ya'll" as he drove by.

those panhandle boys -- so romantic.

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polk county is launching an anti-litter campaign, no butts about it.

they even started a cigarette litter prevention program.

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"cigarette butts are the number one littered item in the united states," said katie perritt chiappisi, executive director of keep polk county beautiful, reports the lakeland ledger .

law enforcement agencies such as the lake wales police department and the polk county sheriff's office environmental crimes unit will be paying special attention to the litterbugs throughout the next few weeks, she said.

"this is a habit that we need to change," she said.

the fine for littering something as small as a cigarette butt is $141.50.

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don't mess with this dad.

when his 12-year-old daughter took his car on a joy ride and initially refused to stop for police, he requested that cops charge her with grand theft auto, the sun sentinel reports, courtesy of a reader's twitter.

cops quickly spotted the kid monday because she forgot a basic tenet of night driving: headlights.

the child disappeared with the yellow nissan about 10:30 pm while her father was visiting her ailing 19-month-old sibling at plantation general hospital.

the ordeal started and ended in the hospital parking lot at 401 nw 42 ave., rettig said.

she drove south on state road 7 and made a u-turn, but didn't get far, hitting a police car near the hospital, rettig said.

"apparently she drove around and a couple officers tried to stop her and she wouldn't stop," rettig said. "she ended up rolling into a police car."

when she finally did stop, she tried to flee, but once again, didn't get far, rettig said.

nobody was hurt.

her father is pressing charges because it's the second time she's driven off in a car.

so is dad too harsh? or is it time she learned a lesson.

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this has all the makings of a hoax.

in fact, it was in a russian tabloid. something like the weekly world news so you know what that means.

but it's worth a chuckle. (and we wouldn't be suprised if someone, somewhere got drunk enough in florida to give it a shot. but not these two "russians.")

the story goes that two men named anton, 32, and yevgeny, 30, residents of st. petersburg, russia were spending their vacation in the united states with a group of friends, life.ru website reports.

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at some point in their journey, the two got hold of a booklet listing the weirdest us laws.

since they were in florida, their attention was drawn to a florida law prohibiting sex with porcupines,
reports mosnews.com

now here's something that is true: the florida legislature recently grappled with making sex with animals illegal.

after a good deal of whiskey, the russians felt curious about what might have prompted the law, and went in search of the animal.

they found a porcupine and both were drunk and brave enough to take off their pants and approach it.

by the time they'd completed the next leg of their trip --to la -- the were ready for the cedars sinai clinic in los angeles, where amazed doctors plucked porcupine needles from their penises.

meanwhile, both men had to undergo a lengthy treatment of inflammation caused by the porcupine needles.

obviously, the two learned nothing from the story of the russian man who, in january, supposedly lost half of his penis after trying to force a raccoon into oral sex.

from russia with love indeed.

that's according to www.life.ru.

yeah, we're not buying either. but at least we're awake now.

photo: www.life.ru

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.....we're thinking they're smarter than some folks we've actually elected.

get this:

a new university of florida study proves that mockingbirds have a lot going on in their feathery noggins.

they can distinguish between individual humans, reports the gainesville sun.

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the research shows that mockingbirds -- florida's state bird, incidentally -- are much smarter than bird experts previously thought. the only other bird species known to exhibit similar behavior is the crow.

as they build nests, raise young and feed on insects, they're paying attention and remember everything that comes near their territory.

"mockingbirds can recognize a human after only 60 seconds of contact," said doug levey, a uf professor of biology. "i would challenge most humans to do the same."

he's got a point.

do you remember the waitress who served you yesterday?

photo: aaron spalding/university of florida, file photo
a mockingbird grazes university of florida biology major devon duffy in an attempt to drive her away from its nest on the uf campus. the bird apparently recognized duffy as a person who had threatened its nest previously.

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they're called the outlaws motorcycle club.

so no surprise that they broke the law at the building they own.

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so the daytona beach police, with the assistance of florida power & light, turned off the power at the gang's more than 80-year-old wooden house because of myriad code violations, reports the daytona beach news journal.

the outlaws, a notorious gang with chapters all over the world, have 10 days to fix the violations discovered by deputy police chief steve beres and a city building inspector. if not, they could get cited and eventually be brought up before the city's code inspection board.

beres said the motorcycle club will have to hire an electrician and obtain a permit for all the work that's done. "we're willing to work with them if they need our help," beres said.

when the lights were turned off at the clubhouse -- at south and seaman streets -- there was only one outlaw inside the residence, beres said, a man who goes by "panhead."

"that's the only name he gave us," beres said.

photo: nj | pam lockeby
the clubhouse for the daytona beach chapter of the outlaws motorcycle club.

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what is it with some guys, anyway?

where do they get the idea that a woman likes getting swatted on the butt by a drunk?

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maybe peter j. banco can tell us now that he's presumably sobered up.

but first, let's hear from anna prideaux, a waitress at a naples ihop.

she told collier county cops that banco slapped her rear three times while they were outside.

she told him to stop, reports the naples daily news.

back inside the restaurant banco slapped prideaux's rear end two more times.

here's banco's explanation: she liked it.

evidently she liked it so much, she told him to stop, the cop report says.

banco's response: he called her a derogatory name and left.

early the next morning he returned to the restaurant and began calling prideaux a derogatory name again, the report said.

finally, she called the cops, which caused banco to leave the restaurant.

cops stopped his car and arrested him.

let's hope he got slapped -- with some handcuffs.

photo: peter j. banco, naples daily news

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you can't miss patrick varnadore's car.

his chrysler is about 60 percent covered in orange duct tape.

why, you might ask?

he got a 1986 chrysler fifth avenue about a month ago, but it wasn't without cosmetic problems.

varnadore, 17, and his friends ended up duct-taping part of the vehicle when the back window fell out.
reports the northwest florida daily news .

"one of my friends came up with the idea of going for a world record and covering the whole thing in duct tape," varnadore said. "i took it one step further and wanted to make it look like the general lee."

varnadore said he's a big fan of the old "dukes of hazzard" television show.

you probably already guessed where varnadore lives.

the panhandle.

有什么地方？

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in florida we celebrate just about anything.

什么都行。

even micanopy, which only has about 600 people to begin with, can find a reason for a festival. although it has to reach back to a 1991 event.

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that's when michael j. fox played a young doctor who gets stuck in south carolina (filmed in micanopy) after a car crash in the movie doc hollywood.

that movie was filmed in micanopy and gave birth to the annual festival: doc hollywood days.

now the town celebrates the big screen hit with a reception, live music, food and the ever so famous squash day parade, reports wcjb news.

any ol' reason to bring out the beer, we guess. here, have one.

photo: micanopy chamber of commerce

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it's not enough that folks commit crimes.

they gotta get really crazy and run around naked, too.

which brings us to the story of john chapman, 23.

first, cops were called to the country club estates in port st. lucie because someone vandalized the front and rear electronic gates and a speed limit sign.

at the scene, a woman said an unoccupied gray 1999 saturn was in another development called heatherwood estates and was blocking the entrance.

the saturn reportedly had flat tires and its engine was running.

meanwhile, cops also got a call about a "naked man running around" near heatherwood estates.

a sheriff's helicopter and a police dog found john chapman, 23, who owns the saturn, at st. lucie west middle school, reports tcpalm

chapman said he'd been at a mets game and drank some beer.

he also reportedly told police they "were probably wondering about the gates i went through," the affidavit states.

yeah, that's our hunch, too.

photo: john c. chapman

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some folks believe in the rapture prophesied in the bible.

and then there's joshua witter, avowed atheist.

they need each other.

now 70 rapture-awaiting believers have paid witter to be their post-apocalyptic postman, delivering cards and letters to their non-believing friends, relatives and neighbors who will be left behind when the day of reckoning arrives, reports the orlando sentinel .

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witter started his website -- postrapturepost.com -- as a joke, a satiric jab at those who see things like the swine flu, economic collapse and the election of a liberal president as sure signs the end is near.

but then he started receiving orders for his merchandise.

since 2005, witter said he has sold more than 200 items, most of them t-shirts and coffee mugs, and many of those (he admits) to friends and fellow atheists.

among the best sellers are the line of i-told-you-so cards, which sell for $8.

some who ordered the cards -- witter suspects they are not actually christians -- are willing to pay extra to have them sent early as christmas cards.

"your hope lies with me. i am your mailman," he vows. "i'll do my best come hell or high water to deliver those letters."

on the other hand, should the rapture not arrive in his lifetime, he gets to keep the money, which he promises to use to subsidize his sinful lifestyle.

photo: atheist joshua witter sells cards to christians that he will deliver to those left behind after the rapture. (roberto gonzalez, orlando sentinel / may 15, 2009)

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gosh, we envy inventors.

so creative.

we're just surprised that florida folks didn't think of this -- south florida being a hot spot for big boobs.

是，没有。 this time around it's slovenian designers who've come up with a new "smart-bra" that boosts a woman's cleavage when she feels sexy.

the magic bra detects changes in body temperature brought on by sexual arousement and squeezes boobs together to create a bigger cleavage.

then when things cool off the bra's built-in memory relaxes the fabric and the wearer's bust returns to normal, say its inventors, the sun reports.

lingerie designers are busily putting the bras to the test.

wonder how they recruited women for that?

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pasco county. 次。

we think it's trying to outdrink and outdrug the panhandle.

and that's saying something.

in less than 24 hours in west pasco, five people — in five separate incidents — were found passed out behind the wheel in their cars, reports the st. 圣彼得堡时报 。

here are the losin', snoozin' five:

teresa n. haley, 24, of palm harbor, and a passenger were asleep in a gold 2000 toyota solara and "not easily awakened," a report states. haley told deputies she took methamphetamines and roxicodone. haley is accused of punching a deputy in the head, as well as kicking and elbowing. en route to jail, haley "snored loudly."

a deputy found erik north, a 28-year-old unemployed man from new port richey, sleeping in the driver's seat of a car while still holding a needle with a clear substance in it. north told the deputy he planned to inject himself with roxicodone.

daniel m. martin, a 29-year-old disabled man from new port richey, was found reclined in his driver's seat "unresponsive and sweating a lot," a report states. after waking, he admitted to taking methadone, xanax, soma and roxicodone.

a car was stopped in the middle of the road and a deputy found the driver — joseph a. wyatt, a 26-year-old electrician from new port richey — "passed out in the driver's seat with his foot on the brake and the truck in gear with the engine running." wyatt was drooling and had fresh track marks on his right arm.

a person saw what appeared to be a drunk driver weaving into oncoming traffic and followed the car into a parking lot of a wendy's, where the driver passed out. a deputy arrived and found richard "rick" t. pittenger, a 27-year-old from georgia, sleeping with the driver's door open and the car keys in his hand. after waking up, pittenger admitted to drinking "a lot" before driving.

if you're heading to pasco county, we suggest you surprise the locals: arrive sober.

photos: st. petersburg times

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we love birders.

quirky. detail oriented. a little obsessed.

so when a greater sand-plover was spotted on a jacksonville beach, birders thought it was a big deal.

we don't know a greater sand-plover from a painted bunting (we've heard that's a bird).

but why should we?

greater sand-plovers are typically hanging around asia.

the jacksonville bird enthusiasts said only one greater sand-plover has been documented in the western hemisphere.

that was in 2001 in marin county, calif.

we're talking a rare bird.

the celebrity plover spent the day catching fiddler crabs on the beach of a cove at the fort george inlet, while onlookers came to watch, reports the florida times union.

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“this guy should be in hong kong,” said duval audubon society president carole adams, one of the birders who spotted and identified the plover.

except he isn't!

片：
roger clark/special
this photo shows a bird photographed thursday at huguenot memorial park in jacksonville that was identified by members of the duval audubon society as being a greater sand plover, a bird that normally lives in asia and africa.

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duh purists -- fair warning.

this isn't a classic duh, unless you think a 15-year-old driving race cars at 140 mph is a bit on the wild side.

but we thought you should know about gaby chavez.

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he's not old enough to borrow his dad's car and drive down the street.

but he's driving race cars at 140 mph around some of the most famous speedways in the united states, reports the st. 圣彼得堡时报

chavez, 15, a native of colombia who lives in weston, is considered one of the most promising prospects in car racing.

he gained fame when peter windsor, owner of the new us formula 1 team, mentioned him as one of the possible drivers to be recruited.

chavez, the world's youngest driver with a class c license from the international automotive federation, currently leads the bmw americas formula championships, a category that has formed some of the current crop of formula 1 drivers.

"when i'm on the track i forget about the planet. i connect completely with my car and with myself. it is something that happens naturally," said chavez.

he tries to lead a normal life, like any other high school student. but unlike most kids his age, he takes care of his nutrition — never eating fast food — and getting lots of exercise.

last year marked a milestone for chavez.

for a few weeks, he was able to come face to face with his future as he raced three formula 1 tracks in singapore, china and malaysia.

step by step," is his philosophy.

but his next step is to get his driver's license in july.

photo: native colombian and young race car sensation gaby chavez, 15, of weston is the world's youngest driver with a class c license.[associated press]

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reading. 作。 arithmetic.

and sex.

yeah, there's a lot of learning going on at schools today but not all of it part of the curriculum.

the latest teacher to get nailed for allegedly having sex with students is heath miller, a popular hl watkins middle school band director in palm beach gardens now under investigation of sexual abuse of students.

evidently, he was a busy guy.

he kept a memory card at the school that contained photos of miller having sex with girls.

so he had asked his mistress -- yeah, you read that right -- who's a teacher at the school to remove the memory card from the school's band room so police wouldn't find it, reports tcpalm.

the teacher said she didn't know she was tampering with evidence and thought she was just retrieving miller's property for him.

she told police she assumed the card might have included nude pictures of herself taken by miller.

quite the shutterbug, we guess.

photo: heath miller, who made headlines after he shot an armed intruder in his wellington home, was arrested by palm beach county school district police.

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craigslist ad:

lie in a hip bed, on a memory foam mattress all day - drink free coffee, read newspapers and magazines, just take it easy and get paid!!!

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sylvia olechowski and kostas stoilas applied for the job, reports tampa bay's 10connects

the catch ... the bed's in the middle of tampa's westshore plaza mall.

boconcept in westshore plaza mall posted the ad and is hoping it attracts people to buy mattresses.

sylvia and kostas will be lounging around westshore plaza for the next two weekends from noon - 6 pm.

dream job indeed!

photo: 10connects

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tips on improving your sex life?

we're on it.

so we gotta pass on this tidbit from orlandosentinel.com

now experts are telling us high heels are better for your health and your sex life.

the story says that podiatrists are alarmed at the rising number of foot injuries caused by ballet flats and flip flops. they say flat shoes can cause severe foot pain, bunions, shooting pains in the shins, back aches and even arthritis.

but here comes the sexy part.

italian researchers suggest that by wearing a higher heel, you'll not only have fewer foot problems but better sex, too.

they say the posture you have while wearing heels helps strengthen the pelvic floor muscles.

to which we say, " oh, please ."

you want a better sex life that involves high heels?

well, duh!

try slapping on some spike heels, a garter belt, a french maid's costume.....
try something creative, racy, sexy, new......

heck, we can tell you that. and we're not even "experts."

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this is what passes for excitement in crestview, one of our favorite panhandle cities.

we've got a victim awakened in the middle of the night.

she finds ferlando deangelo james, 24, standing in the open door of her car.

looks like he stole her car and then returned it.

at any rate, he tells her he's sorry and runs.

she finds her keys in the car and an open bottle of crown royal near where james had been standing.

after parking her car properly, she goes back to her house and finds james on the next door neighbor's front porch, smoking a cigarette, reports the northwest florida daily news.

he says he's not the same person she saw with her car.

but he can't fool her.

she smells crown royal on his breath.

she tells him she knows he took her car and turns to walk away.

he follows and grabs her buttocks. when she turns to walk backward toward her home, james says he's been "watching" her for some time and that she is "always beautiful."

at the front door of her home, he grabs her crotch and tries to follow her into her house.

she tells him her son is behind the door and calling 911. james then grabs her breast before running.

when captured, the man invokes his right to remain silent. a search warrant for a dna sample is served and taken.

the dna comes back to match evidence found on the crown royal bottle and in the car.

cops charge him with grand theft of an automobile and battery.

but after all that, she can't id him in a lineup.

next time, lady, stick to royal crown cola.

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能相信吗？

we found an honest person in florida!

he's snowbird thomas donovan, who found a six-diamond white gold ring on a south fort myers sidewalk late last year.

the sparkler had a jeweler's insignia on the inside, indicating it had been made by mark loren designs in fort myers.

donovan, a noble sort, returned it to the jeweler.

the ring belongs to virginia de shazo, 90, who lived near where the ring was found.

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this week de shazo was picking up a pin she'd had cleaned at the same jeweler. she was looking at rings in a display case when loren, the jeweler, walked by to greet her.

"she said she was really sad. that she had had a white gold ring (made here)," loren said. "and when she said she'd lost it, that's when a light went on," reports the fort myers news press.

loren had enough information to check his records to verify the ring and the owner were a match.

he then called donovan to ask whether the ring could be released to de shazo, and he agreed. "he said, 'great.' he was happy," loren said.

we have faith in humanity again. of course, we're blogging at 6:30 in the morning. we haven't read today's news yet.

photo: virginia de shazo, 90, of fort myers lost the mark loren designs six-diamond ring she is wearing in late 2008. (jessie vega/news-press.com)

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chad eugene reynolds, 25, is a registered sexual predator missing from his ocklawaha home near ocala since feb. 1st.

he told a friend he'd be waiting for her in a dumpster near the summerfield wal-mart that night, reports the ocala star banner.

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the cops have three possible scenarios.

reynolds may have climbed into a nearby trash bin, fallen asleep and been taken away.

or reynolds, who had been driving on a suspended license, may have fled on his own.

or he could have been a victim of foul play.

么是你的选择是什么？

photo: chad eugene reynolds
marion county sheriff's office
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you're doing something illegal. and you get ripped off.

is that justice or what?

so we're not feeling a lot of pain for two guys who wanted to score 20 pounds of pot and got robbed at gunpoint for the $12,000 they were carrying to make the deal.

吧。 20 pounds! we're not talking about folks enjoying a few recreational joints.

"yeah i was scared," said wesley fehl of port orange. "i had two guns pointed at my head."

fehl, 22, said that he and kenneth jones, 20, of south daytona, drove to a house near holly hill to buy weed. they got jumped at the house.

fehl and jones jumped into their own vehicle, drove after their assailants and called 9-1-1 to report the robbery, reports the daytona beach news journal .

"i was just held at gunpoint trying to buy drugs. we're following the dude right now," the caller told a sheriff's office dispatcher.

two guys who took their money were caught.

turns out all the guys have criminal records. fehl's is the longest and includes drug-related arrests.

why are we not surprised?

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we're shameless.

and we admit it.

but we live in a place that hosts porn conventions. so we feel compelled to tell you about that.

or show you.

yes, we have a photo gallery courtesy of the sun sentinel.

but it's not x-rated. we haven't gone that far -- yet.

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get those hankies ready.

this is a tender little story about mighty, the monkey.

the little dude was a squirrel monkey and only weighed about 20 ounces and could sit in the palm of your hand.

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to janet steiner of satellite beach, mighty was more than just a little pet.

for 27 years, the squirrel monkey was like a child to steiner.

she bought him from a pet shop so she'd have a companion while her husband served in vietnam.

mighty was great company. he even had a vocabulary of sounds he used to communicate and was treated as a member of the family, reports florida today.

when mighty died of cancer in 1994, steiner wanted a proper burial. she brought his remains to columbia pet memorial gardens in melbourne

she and cemetery owner connie lassiter, now 74, signed a contract stating that the burial plot would be leased to steiner for "at least 100 years with perpetual care."

then in june 2008, steiner decided to move mighty's remains to a pet cemetery in okeechobee because she thought lassiter hadn't done an adequate job maintaining the cemetery and feared for the future of her monkey's resting place.

so now they're in small claims court, where steiner is suing for the $500 she spent on the original burial and for the relocation of the grave.

steiner is a frequent visitor to mighty's grave site. after the 2004 hurricanes, steiner said upkeep diminished. she said the cemetery became overgrown and that the shade tree was removed. in april 2007, she saw a "for sale" sign on the property. then, mighty's grave marker vanished.

she feared monkey business going on.

lassiter said he held up his end of the bargain, and steiner didn't give him enough time to clean up from the hurricanes. he also said the cemetery never was for sale -- just his home and two kennel buildings.

so you'll know: human cemeteries are protected from development, but pet cemeteries aren't regulated in florida.

if the property a pet cemetery is on gets sold, the new owers can do whatever they want.

hope mighty can rip -- somewhere.

but we're hard-core animal lovers.

do you think it matters?

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photo: janet steiner's monkey was buried on a plot west of interstate 95 in melbourne after its death in 1994. steiner says owner connie lassiter hasn't kept up the cemetery. (rik jesse, florida today)

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helen bedd (hell in bed -- get it?) is a chiefland man posing as a female on craigslist to offer "man rubs" for $200 an hour.

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helen bedd is really arthur ramos, 41.

cops say they found an advertisement in the casual encounters section of craigslist.

investigators posed as a married man looking for a "discrete full service encounter."

they described “full-service” as street lingo for sex in all forms by a female prostitute, reports the gainesville sun .

cops negotiated a price of $250 and arranged to meet at a local hotel a short time later. after money exchanged hands between ramos and an undercover agent, cops say they entered the motel room and arrested ramos.

cops searched their records and discovered they had been called to ramos' home several times to take reports from him in which he claimed he was being stalked or that he had been carjacked or that a man he did not know had broken his windows.

for ramos, now it'll be helen jail.

photo: arthur ramos aka helen bedd
levy county jail

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here's a tale of two thomas carpenters who live in manatee county.

one is a former sheriff's deputy who has passed numerous background checks and has made a living protecting the public.

now he's a childrens' tae kwon do instructor.

alas, the other thomas carpenter is registered sex offender in manatee county.

he was convicted in 1993 of lewd and lascivious battery on a child under 16 in sarasota county.

you can see where this is going -- and it isn't good.

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the tae kwon do instructor's reputation took a beating recently when someone sent an anonymous and erroneous e-mail alleging that carpenter was a state-registered sex offender.

"i am writing to inform you that the owner and chief instructor of this facility is a registered sex offender," said the april 18 e-mail, sent to several businesses in the plaza shared by carpenter's family taekwondo.

the e-mail was dead wrong.

carpenter isn't a sex offender, and now the sender, if he or she can be identified, could face criminal charges and a civil suit as a result.

so all you folks so anxious to hit the send button know: it's a first-degree misdemeanor punishable by a year in jail to misuse information contained in the state sex offender database.

carpenter still runs the studio he's operated for seven years in east manatee with his two teen-age children and wife,

"my wife was a total wreck about it," carpenter said. "for two weeks, we've been holding our breaths to see how far this has gone."

photo: thomas carpenter leads matthew mergen, 8, johnny liskiewicz,10, sophia bocklage, 7, jacob aiezza, 11, and cheyanne vohringer, 8, in tae kwon do class. no students have dropped out, but carpenter worries about losing potential clients.staff photo / thomas bender

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have a cold one on the house. not at the bar -- at the barber.

sally spielmaker, owner of the roma 6 barber shop in fort lauderdale said she noticed late last summer that her customers were grumbling about insecurity in a slumping economy, reports the south florida sun-sentinel.

"i figured, you know what? a nice, cold beer just takes the edge off the day," she said. so she put a sign in the window: "free beer" in big, red, capital letters.

some customers thought she was kidding. but when they asked for their beer, they got one.

warning: the brew is for paying customers only, spielmaker said.

and if you look or act intoxicated on the way in, you might find that the shop has inexplicably run out.

she's got plenty of regulars, like arthur reynolds, 79, who has no problem with beer on the premises while spielmaker is giving him a shave.

just as long as the beer's not in the barbers' hands.

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john swanson, 50, of north naples was having one of those very bad days.

he'd been getting threats.

nasty threats.

swanson was told someone would chop his hands off if he didn't pay $200,000.

worse -- in an earlier call, the caller threatened to cut off swanson's hands and penis, reports the naples daily news.

collier county lead detective thomas zanfardino said the man who called swanson was intense, persistent, demanding and “downright nasty.” he said the man made himself out to be someone who “gets what he wants and doesn't expect back talk.”

a pick-up was scheduled, with the cops' help. when one of the men opened the hatch of swanson's car, the deputies moved in.

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john michael caruso, 17, of tempe, ariz., and tomas possenti, 22, of coral gables, were arrested on charges of conspiracy to commit extortion when they tried to collect on threats swanson received.

but the man on the phone who made the threats wasn't around. another arrest is expected.

soon, we hope.

photo: john michael caruso

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new rule!

wear undies for school yearbook pics.

里的原因：

at sickles high school in citrus park, page 219 in the new school yearbook is all the talk.

guess why?

there's a picture of a student with her private parts showing, some students say, reports tampa bay's 10connects.

10 connects caught up with the 16-year-old in the photo - and her mother jeanette.

the young girl admits she didn't wear underwear that day but says it was because she didn't want her panty lines to show.

she says she did not show herself like that on purpose, "absolutely not. it is ridiculously embarrassing."

the sickles junior says she found out about the photo when seniors got their yearbooks on monday. she hasn't been back to school since

hillsborough county school district spokesperson linda cobbe told 10 connects the picture is not revealing at all. "we don't believe there is exposure in the yearbook.... it is a shadow."

"all of the administrators are trying to downplay it and saying i should really laugh it off and come back to school but i've been humiliated," said the girl, who says she won't return to school for the rest of the year.

this brings back every awful, awkward moment we ever experienced in high school. though, true confessions, vpls weren't a big issue in our day. we were covered in winter coats most of the time.

your worst high school memory?

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well....she had to go to the bathroom and didn't ask permission.

leaves us to wonder what the teacher does when a kid really acts up.

the teacher is jean e. dorvil, 56, who teaches preschool kids at the head start program at charles r. drew elementary in miami.

mikel blue is a 5-year-old who needed to use the restroom. so she went during nap time without asking permission.

大禁忌。

she told cops that dorvil kicked her in the mouth after she returned from the bathroom and was resting on her cot, reports tcpalm

cynthia blue said her daughter came home from school that day with a cut on her mouth and blood on her blouse.

''it stunned me,'' cynthia blue said. ''her lip was cut on the outside, and it was bleeding.'' blue said she asked her daughter how her lip was cut. she replied: ''he got mad at me because i went to the bathroom,'' blue said.

cops investigated. one employee told the detective that two other students had complained that dorvil kicked them earlier this year, a cop spokesman said.

two boys -- both 5 -- said they had been kicked by dorvil sometime at the begining of the school year.

later, during an interview with detectives, dorvil ''admitted to those incidents, and that's why he was charged,'' silva said.

teacher needs kicked, too. kicked out of the teaching profession.

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some people just don't have enough problems in their life.

们？

we worry about keeping a job and a roof over our heads.

we worry about the war in iraq and global warming.

the folks at ocean gardens town house in cape canaveral -- they worry about a bunch of birds.

they're ruffled over a gaggle of peacocks that lunch on their flower beds, leave droppings on the sidewalks and porches and squawk day and night.

they've got about 35 to 45 peacocks wandering around the complex, nibbling on the flowers like a salad bar, reports florida today

but we gotta hand it to the homeowners. they're not taking a typical florida approach to getting rid of something you don't like: just shoot it.

they plan to relocate 30 to 40 of the peacocks, possibly to a farm in south carolina.

photo: a peacock in the ocean garden area of cape canaveral fans out during a mating ritual. residents are irritated by the birds' squawking, flower-eating and destruction of screened enclosures. (rik jesse, florida today)

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bad mom alert.

first colleen sullivan, 21, left her 4-month-old son in a hot car.

the windows were partly down. the temperature outside the vehicle reached 93 degrees, and sullivan did not leave the car's air conditioning on, reports tampa bay online .

why'd she leave him there?

she was really busy.

she was burglarizing a tampa home by breaking through a sliding glass door.

after her arrest, she told deputies, "do what you want. i don't want the baby," according to her arrest report.

photo: colleen sullivan
tbo.com

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just another reason we love living here.

we're a stone's throw from a porn convention in miami beach where -- in these uncertain times -- we can learn a new trade.

the organizers offered a very helpful class: "how to be a porn producer."

and we loved the title of this lecture: "i've twittered all over your facebook and now it's myspace."

no surprise that this adult convention, called exxxotica miami, packed 'em in the miami beach convention center, with the likes of male porn legend ron jeremy and dozens of female stars signing autographs and posing for pictures, the palm beach post reports.

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把柄！

and not a moment too soon.

because we suspect the workers at a fort walton beach fast-food restaurant are really tired of seeing this guy's junk.

the flasher entered the drive-thru lane but an employee recognized him because he'd cruised through recently and flashed his willie to her at the window, reports the northwest florida daily news

and, you gotta admit, that would make any person memorable.

but this time, a manager went to the window to give the man his food. when she saw his unzipped pants and exposed genitals, she wrote down the license plate number on the white ford mustang and reported the incident.

guess he won't be having it his way.

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snappy's got a home. and we're glad of it.

the poor ol' one-eyed, three-legged gator recently captured off seacrest beach in the panhandle is now free to roam the ponds located next to the sheriff's south walton substation.

"we knew it couldn't survive if it was released anywhere else," said lt. keith chamblee. "when i was setting it loose, i decided to name it snappy."

chamblee isn't sure what happened to snappy but figures his wounds are typical of bites that happen in the wild. life is tough out there.

not so at the ponds.

"there is one other gator that stays here," chamblee said. "it's less than three feet and really quite friendly. snappy has no danger of being attacked by it."

so glad snappy is under protective custody.

thanks, sheriff.

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and you say there's no chivalry left.

what about the dude who stripped down to his boxer shorts and dove into orlando's lake eola after witnessing a car plunge into the dark waters around 2 am?

our hero!

he jumped in to rescue the driver, 30-year-old romelli bernadeze cainong, who told cops she "freaked out" after seeing someone walk across her path on east rosalind avenue, orlandosentinel.com reports.

she accidentally drove into the lake to avoid striking the person, she said.

we read that and immediately thought: alcohol was involved.

且你知道吗？

we were right.

romelli bernadeze cainong

her bloodshot eyes, smell of alcohol and failure to pass all of the sobriety tests showed cainong was drunk, cops said.

but the good guy in this is charles dalton.

dalton said he was in a taxi cab when he saw cainong's honda dive into the lake.

he stripped down to his boxers and jumped in the lake and pulled cainong from her car.

cops fround him dripping wet, wearing his boxers and a t-shirt.

cainong later admitted she had two vodka cranberry drinks at club ember in downtown orlando.

we figure what she saw was a pink elephant.

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we don't know nicholas t. doud.

we do know we don't want to see him in his skivvies.

frankly, he sounds like a bit of a whack job.

cops think the 42-year-old has something to do with a car windshield smashed by an ax.
oh, and a rear tire was slashed, too.

cops responded to the port st. lucie scene where a man in his skivvies was walking around. the car was nearby, in front of a home, with a windshield apparently smashed out with an ax handle.

inside the car: a red ax handle with "walking small – your face here" written in black marker, reports tcpalm.

doud told cops he likes to walk around in his underwear. does that often, he said.

he denied knowing about the smashed windshield, but admitted that cops "probably" would find his fingerprints on the ax handle.

on the way to jail, doud allegedly said his neighbors were "being a bunch of cry babies."

now doud has something to cry about.

photo: nicholas t. doud, tcpalm

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ok, so maybe not a lot happens in windsor.

but give the townspeople credit for this: they really know how to party with a zuccini.

nearly every year since 1981, the town puts on a zucchini festival.

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it offers a cook-a-zuke contest and a zuqueenie pageant earn proceeds to support the windsor volunteer fire department, reports the gainesville sun .

zucchiniphiles revel in fried zucchini, zucchini ice cream, a zucchini cooking contest, zucchini carving contest. and don't forget the duke of zuke & zuqueenie pageant and the zucchinithon fun run.

the famous kazucchini marching band (played in the doc hollywood movie) provides entertainment.

sounds like a hoot, right? we love it all -- except maybe for the zucchini ice cream.

photo: doug finger/staff photographer thomas miesch, 24, from left, his wife courtney, 21, tara bahrey, 25, and kerry ochs, 32, batter zucchini for the crystal air and water fried zucchini stand. thomas miesch, 24, from left, his wife courtney, 21, tara bahrey, 25, and kerry ochs, 32, batter zucchini for the crystal air and water fried zucchini stand.

more on the fest.

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here's one way to gain fame.

but we don't recommend it.

steven gilmore jr., 21, is an aspiring hip hop artist.

but he has a problem. this rap artist needs a rap sheet to be successful, or so he thinks.

so gilmore confessed to robbing a convenience store and shooting a clerk in the temple with a bb gun.

during his confession, gilmore said he had lost his job recently and hoped the robbery would give him "street credibility" as a rapper, said lt. keith kameg of the gainesville police department, reports the gainesville sun

noew gilmore is being held at alachua county jail on charges of attempted armed robbery and aggravated assault.

now he'll be rappin' to the jailhouse rock.

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oh, those graduation speeches. typically dull and cliche-ridden.

but not at ave maria university where it was obama-bashing time.

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commencement speaker dr. thomas hilgers, an obstetrician from omaha who ave maria president nicholas healy described as a pioneer in “gynecological practices that are in line with the teachings of the catholic church,” used his address to blast notre dame university's decision to host president barack obama as its own commencement speaker on may 17, reports the naples daily news.

calling obama “viciously pro-abortion,” hilgers railed against obama's policies while likening the president to his own commencement speaker in the 1960s – a young priest hilgers said later turned out to be “a denier of the resurrection, pro-homosexuality and pro-contraception.”

maybe it's us, but these fighting words at a commencement ceremony hardly seem christian-like.

怎么看？

photo: ave maria graduation 2009
naples daily news

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anybody who's been hooked on cigarettes can understand.

when you need a smoke, you really need a smoke.

but when monica l. wood, 52, knocked on a stranger's door in clearwater in the middle of the night to ask for cigarettes, she wasn't just out of cigs. she was out of her clothes.

when deputies found the woman a short time later walking through a mobile home park she had donned a pair of boxer shorts, reports baynews9

wood was charged with disorderly conduct. we already know she's guilty of nicotine addiction.

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photo: wood was charged with disorderly conduct.

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here's one for the dumb crime category.

someone broke into the sarasota county water plant overnight, and workers noticed the minivan missing the next morning.

a few hours later, in manatee county, a driver saw a minivan speeding over 100 mph, reports the sarasota herald tribune.

so the driver noted the “how's my driving?” phone number and called in to complain.

yep, you guessed it.

it was the thief.

manatee cops caught the driver at a goodwill. the minivan was in fine condition.

the same can't be said for the thief's brain.

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things went great when a topless dancer added some spice to a "cinco de mayo get-together" at a man's panama city home.

but on her return visit the next night, it wasn't fun and games.

she brought two masked men with her while the owner was out riding his motorcycle. and there was no costume party going on.

shortly thereafter the homeowner called the bay county cops after discovering that someone stole the safe from his bedroom, reports the northwest florida daily news .

his home security system had videotaped a woman he identified as "michelle" and her two masked buddies.

in the safe: between $500 and $700 cash in one dollar bills; two 18 karat yellow gold necklaces with two matching bracelets and another 18 karat gold necklace, all appraised and valued at $15,000 along with personal papers.

"michelle" won't be dancing where she's going.

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toothbrushes.

that's right, toothbrushes. and teeth whiteners.

the robber hit a cvs drug store in daytona beach and stole $866 worth dental items, enough to make it a case of grand theft, reports wftv news 9

"it's expensive, but it's the first time in my career i've known someone to go and steal $800 worth of electric toothbrushes and supplies," said lieutenant ron wright of the south daytona police department.

and he made a clean getaway -- he knew how to avoid the surveillance cameras. a real pro.

we figure it wasn't his first brush with the law.

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sometimes, there's justice. swift and true.

take the case of the caretaker for the north seminole little league field who went to check on the tampa facility. as he arrived, he saw two kids running away.

but a third kid wasn't so lucky.

the caretaker found him trapped by the concession building's burglar bars, reports abc action news .

cops arrived and freed the teen.

he told them his buddies had pulled the bars apart wide enough so he could slip through. he was trying to come back out when the caretaker showed up. the kids let go of the bars and ran away, leaving him trapped.

so the kid left behind wound up behind a new set of bars in the county's juvenile assessment center, charged with burglary.

maybe he learned something. like pick better friends. ones who don't steal.

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there's trouble in paradise.

and they're not even married yet.

when st. lucie county cops were dispatched to a domestic disturbance call at a residence near fort pierce, they found a man with “numerous lacerations on his upper chest, neck, shoulders, left arm and lower back ... consistent with fingernail scratches.”

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they also found a “hysterical and crying” woman.

the guy told cops that when he picked up the woman at the bar where she works, he saw her kissing her boss. the woman admitted all of it, reports tcpalm

meanwhile back at the apartment...

these two lovebirds began arguing when the guy said he was having second thoughts about their wedding.

the woman told cops she started “swinging,” scratching the man. she couldn't explain why a small part of her upper lip was swollen.

cops arrested lauren ashley wade, 20, on a charge of misdemeanor battery and took her to the st. lucie county jail.

wade made bail friday.

just in time for the wedding today.

if there is a wedding...

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some folks find god in church. some find god in nature.

nancy simoes of miami found god in salami, miami television station wfor reported.

seems she had three pieces of salami in a skillet and flipped one of them and saw the letter g.

"then got the o and i thought to myself how cool will it be if the third letter was a d," she said.

simoes realizes people may think she's crazy. (which tells us she's still sane.)

"i can't make this up. ... it's there in the burn marks."

frankly, we're intrigued with all the places folks find god, the virgin mary, jesus -- you name it.

last december a fort pierce woman said she found an image that looked like the virgin mary in an mri scan. she sold it on ebay for $730.

last august, an orlando woman said she found jesus -- and mary -- on some oyster shells while walking the beach.

you gotta wonder. if this religious trio is so busy giving people signs, how do they get their work done?

image: cnn image

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summer in florida. hurricanes. heat. hassles.

but tampa bay has it worse.

they've got all that and more.

sinkholes.

summer is sinkhole season and one just swallowed a portion of jim and joan bates' spring hill home.

more bad news.

a three-year drought and an increase in groundwater pumping makes the problem worse, said rick green, a geologist with the florida geological survey, reports the st. petersburg times.

hold on, everyone. here comes summer.

photo: [ron thompson | times]
jim bates carries some salvaged belongings from his spring hill home where a sinkhole opened.

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we love mother's day. a time to honor the many fabulous women doing a wonderful job with their kids.

just not in floriduh. so in honor of the upcoming holiday we're sharing a few of our favorite bad mom tales.
read 'em and laugh. or weep.

whoops, sorry i forgot my baby. i was too busy chasing my bad-ass boyfriend.
for story, click here.

when your kid doesn't eat fast enough, just bite him!
for story, click here.

baby hungry? mom drunk? what's a little booze in that breast milk. for story, click here.

lessons mom taught me: "look, here's how you shoplift."
for story, click here.

yes, that's my mother making a friendly school visit. but watch out, she's armed.
for story, click here.

mom sees jesus in sonogram. we see unholy things in kid's future.
for story, click here.

cure for 2-year-old's tantrum: hose her in a car wash!
for story, click here.

when planning to wreck your car, be sure to bring the kids along
for story, click here.

and a couple of bonus picks.

a special category: women we hope don't procreate

we fear her baby will be born -- brainless.
for story, click here.

she's having sex but no need for birth control. her partner is a dog.
for story, click here.

image: city of pensacola greeting

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your son gets released from jail.
time to celebrate!
maybe a cake? some beer? his favorite restaurant?

not guillermo cabello.

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cabello, 66, went hunting for a hog to celebrate his son's release from the county jail.

a deputy saw two men walking in a grove at the intersection in st. lucie county. about 10 mintues later, a sergeant saw a man with a rifle. the sergeant grabbed his assault rifle and ordered the man to drop his weapon, reports tcpalm.

cabello, from fort pierce, said he had permission to be in the grove to hunt, but the property owner and a representative for the property manager reportedly said no one was given permission to hunt there.

cabello was arrested on a felony armed trespassing charge.

now what will the son plan for his father's jail release celebration?

photo: guillermo cabella, tcpalm

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jon richard glasure, 47, was offering unlicensed massages for ”donations” in port st. lucie via a craigslist ad.
one big problem.

glasure is a registered sex offender.
就在于此。

he was arrested in april 1994 for allegedly performing a lewd and lascivious act on a victim younger than 16, reports tcpalm

a female undercover detective set up an appointment, agreeing to meet glasure at his residence for a neck and shoulder massage.

but he requested that (the detective) remove her shirt a couple of times during the meeting, an affidavit states.

two detectives from the sex offender unit knocked on the door and took glasure, who admitted not being a licensed massage therapist, into custody.

he said he read about how to give massages and is doing this because he lost his job on st. patrick's day.

“mr. glasure tried to skirt the licensing law by claiming he was performing massages for donations,” sheriff ken mascara said in a release. “that didn't excuse him from having to follow state law, and that's why we arrested him.”

the touch of evil indeed.
he'll knead a lawyer.

photo: jon glasure
tcpalm.com

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let's make up the rules as we go along.

it worked, temporarily at least, for a man locked out of his calaway home.

once inside, he punched another guy on the ear and later told a deputy that he had the law on his side.

the man claimed he "hit the victim because he heard of a new law saying he could punch anyone in his home," according to a bay county sheriff's office incident report.

deputies responded to a battery complaint to find a man with a laceration in his left ear. the man said he was in the bedroom with his girlfriend when the suspect began pounding on the back door and yelling.

the victim and his girlfriend tried to ignore the suspect, hoping he would go away, reports the northwest daily news.

the suspect then forced the door open and entered without permission and told the victim to grab his things and get out of the house. the victim refused so the suspect hit him in the ear with his fist, causing a laceration that looked like it would require stitches.

because the deputy couldn't find the slugger, he filled out a warrant.

guess he hadn't heard about this so-called new law either.

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okaloosa county sheriff charlie morris couldn't seem to find a car he liked.

that's one explanation given for what drove morris to go through 41 vehicles during the 12 years he spent in office, reports the northwest florida daily news .

"he liked swapping vehicles," said george wilson, the director of fleet maintenance under morris. "sometimes it would be 'i don't like how my vehicle handles' or 'it has too much power.' and he would simply pick out another vehicle."

morris didn't give much thought to how much taxpayer money could be lost by trading in one new vehicle for another.

"the majority of the time he did not pass down his car to another deputy, it was traded in on another new vehicle, taking a tremendous loss on the trade in," accorting to a partner in a forensic accounting firm hired to check out the sheriff's office books.

wilson said his division got about a day's notice whenever morris was considering buying a new car. a crew would install hidden blue lights in the front grill and a light bar inside each new car.

gov. charlie crist suspended morris in february after fbi agents arrested him during a las vegas gambling trip.

looks like the taxpayers got taken for a ride.

here's a partial list of some of the sheriff's rides.

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victor aleman jr. was arrested a month ago on drugs and weapons charges.
but santa rosa county sheriff's investigators still have questions.

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aleman's jeep grand cherokee was gutted. secret compartments were opened. more than $100,000 in cash was found in vacuum-sealed plastic bags. they also found some cocaine and a large kitchen knife behind aleman's driver's seat.

but most disturbing discovery of all was his cell phone.

it had a photo of four severed men's heads resting on a table, reports the panama city news herald.

the decapitation photo was described as "four hispanic males with their heads removed and placed on a table," and haines said investigators have not been able to learn much about it.

but they are not treating the case as any type of homicide investigation.

aleman caught a break. investigators can't go into the phone any deeper just yet -- the battery died.

and they say that there's no way for them to verify if it's an internet photo or if it's a real photo.

aleman told deputies he received the photo as a joke from a friend.

some joke.

photo: investigators said they want to know why victor aleman jr. has photos of severed heads on his cell phone.
panama city news herald

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picky. picky.

a thief was perfectly fine with taking a bike off the front porch of a destin family's home while the kids watched.

but when christopher glenn helton, 23, realized the bike had a flat tire, he brought it back to the porch and saw the kids still watching through the window.

he then knocked on the door and told the resident that he'd found the bicycle down the road, reports the northwest florida daily news.

错的尝试。

after a cop arrived, he found a bottle of drugs in helton's pockets.

helton finally got a free ride. in the backseat of a patrol car.

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somebody in fort pierce is definately out on a limb -- and needs help.
pronto.

three seagulls with ropes tied around their necks, sandals, about nine decayed fish and assorted toys were among the items discovered hanging from two palm trees in fort pierce.

an anonymous call brought police to the scene, which is on the east side of indian river drive near the river, reports tcpalm.

and it's not the first time this has happened.
a witness said he saw “numerous animals” hanging from one of the trees about a month earlier.

an animal control officer removed the animals and police took the sandals and toys into evidence.

we're stumped.

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kendrick pitts, 20, and his brother, marquise pitts, 19, were on the run after fort lauderdale police spotted them, along with a third man, in a stolen ford f-250 pickup truck.

the brothers first tried to get into a church, then ran across the grounds of a christian school and into a small office building, reports the south florida sun-sentinel .

police found the brothers crouched on toilets in the stalls of a women's restroom, after the suspects used falsetto voices to make officers think they were women.

the rouse didn't work.

the older brother was charged with loitering, resisting arrest and grand theft auto. the younger brother was charged with loitering and resisting arrest.

guess they should watch mrs. doubtfire and practice more.

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orestes olmo, 38, nearly ran over a volusia county investigator who tried to talk to him as he pulled into his driveway after a two-month investigation about "unusual activity."

he was captured after his truck got stuck in the soft sand.
that was just the beginning of his troubles.

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seems that olmo built an elaborate pot farm -- an underground pot farm.

first tip: an animal control officer, who was called in to secure some loose dogs, noticed the strong aroma of marijuana plants coming from the ground under him, reports the daytona news journal.

they found a workbench in the garage of his deleon springs home with a trapdoor in its base, said brandon haught, a volusia county sheriff's spokesperson. under the door was a hole in the concrete floor that led to an underground passage, which tunneled from the garage to an area under a large storage shed 65 feet away from the house.

"the crawl space tunnel opened up into an underground bedroom complete with a bed, monitors hooked up to surveillance cameras, a computer and loaded weapons," haught said. "another room opened up into a fully equipped grow room with air conditioning, irrigation and a wall panel bristling with wires and electrical outlets."

a second grow room was found beyond that.

there were 219 plants in the grow house -- worth about $1,135,000 in street value.

at floriduh headquarters we betting that olmo had the best science projects in his class.

check out the video.
photo: us department of justice

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he's supposed to be an entertainer.

but shannon burke, 43, who hosts the shannon burke show on wtks in central florida, sounds like a dangerous hothead to us.

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who else gets angry at their dog and threatens to shoot it?

cops say burke got ticked at his dog, a cavalier king charles spaniel. his solution: pick up a handgun and threaten to shoot it.

the gun discharged, and the bullet went through the dog's leg. the same bullet struck his wife catherine on the side of her head, reports wesh news .

catherine burke was treated for non-life threatening injuries as was the dog.

burke is on realradio 104.1. wikipedia describes his show as "mixture of outrageous daily, biker attitude and personality, and right-wing style rants."

burke has been charged with aggravated battery using a deadly weapon, and animal cruelty.

our suggestion to catherine: lose the husband. keep the dog.

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官方消息。 tampa is the new fat-cat city, the purrr-fect place for puddy tats.

ain't that the cat's meow?

a survey by catalyst, a group of vets, cat-loving academics, nonprofit groups and industries, as well as animal welfare organizations, has named tampa the best city for felines, reports tampa bay online.

factors include how many cats are in the community, the number of veterinarians and how many of those vets are feline specialists. the council counted the number of emergency vet hospitals and even the number of feline behaviorists, which are, sort of, cat psychologists.

the council also looked at how many american animal hospital association-accredited clinics are in the city, how many cat fancy associations are registered and how many cat shows there are.

么？ nobody counted the cat houses?

top cities for cats

1。 帕
2。 凰
3。 金山
4。 portland, ore.
5。 佛
6。 士顿
7。 雅图
8。 迭戈
9。 特兰大
10。 尼阿波利斯

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consider anthony l. smith a public health hazard.

and we're not talking swine flu here.

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smith, 29, entered a fenced front yard in tarpon springs without an invitation just after midnight.

he yelled and cursed at his neighbors, then defecated, reports the st. petersburg times.

two men were in the yard, and smith is accused of punching and kicking them.

police said the victims subdued smith until authorities arrived.

guess he got a load off his chest. and elsewhere.

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somebody please explain -- just what were they thinking?

it was take your children to work day at the indian river correctional institution in vero beach last month.

now five prison employees have been suspended for shocking at least two children with stun guns when visiting a facility, reports tcpalm.

yesterday a corrections officer at franklin correctional institution in carrabelle was fired after zapping children with 50,000 volts of electricity during a "take our daughters and sons to work day" tour last month, reports the northwest florida daily news.

that feels like being zapped with volts that are 450 times as strong as the current in a household electrical outlet.

he told the st. petersburg times last week that parents had given him permission to shock the children with an electrical immobilization device (eid), which requires direct contact with the person to deliver the shock.

"it wasn't intended to be malicious, but educational," schmidt told the st. petersburg times. "the big shock came when i got fired."

photo: indian river correction
florida department of corrections

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crystal cecil was sleeping in her crestview bedroom when she heard screaming coming from the hallway. she told officers that jenifer denise ewing, 32, was in the hallway holding a crutch and a long-handled knife and began threatening her.

when cecil told ewing she had called the police, ewing ran across the street and threw the knife in a garbage can, the arrest report says.

this was an ongoing feud and the second time cops had to be called, reports the northwest florida daily news.

two witnesses who also were at the residence during the second incident corroborated cecil's account of the events.

ewing was placed under arrest and transported to the okaloosa county jail.

she was also was issued a trespass warning for all of crestview housing authority, with the exception of her residence and the waffle house.

let's hope that she never tires of the waffles.

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ave maria is a fledgling town that was once a tomato field.

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the 5,000-acre town the religious vision of domino's pizza tycoon tom monaghan. it's between naples and immokalee. it takes 20 minutes to reach interstate 75 if you ignore the speed limit.

it's so remote that conservative commentator rush limbaugh's radio show crackles with static on the am dial, reports the st. petersburg times.

there is a monaghan museum it the office of ave maria development, overseer of the entire project. monaghan's credo stares down from a display: "i believe my mission is to get as many people to heaven as possible."

ave maria's projected population of 11,000 stands at about 500.

the town is home to one of florida's most impressive modern churches. its interior steel-beam vaulting rises 104 feet. you can see it from miles away.

monaghan wants to give the massive 1,100-seat church to the diocese of venice.
but the catholic bishop is reluctant to assume the upkeep, including the frightening air conditioning demands. big church, so few parishioners.

the town's coffee shop is called the bean and there are pictures of the virgin mary on the wall.
the bean serves up conservative sentiments on its cups: "tolerance without conviction is the same as apathy" — chesterton.

but thank god they do serve a cold beer.
the bean serves bottled beer in a town without a grocery, at least until the publix opens this summer. and an english-style pub is opening soon. it's called the queen mary after england's 16th-century catholic monarch.

for those who like living in a religious retreat-like environment we say "amen!"

photo: kathleen flynn, times

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boyfriend got a load on?

问题。 just crash your car into his truck to keep him from driving drunk.

oh, and be sure your kids are in the car.

that was lorena alvarez's solution, reports tcpalm.com.

the royal palm beach woman told cops she put her two kids, ages 7 and 1, into her car and went looking for her boyfriend.

she eventually found him sitting in his truck in a winn-dixie parking lot.

that's when cops say alvarez pulled up to the truck and rammed it, her children still in the car with her. her excuse: she didn't want him driving drunk.

alvarez was charged with aggravated battery and two counts of child abuse. she was being held without bail.

good thing. the woman is a car wreck.

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oh, classy guy.

graham brunson, 21 was causing a disturbance at the naple's bayfront inn.

he was doing the usual obnoxious drunk routine --yelling obscenities and disturbing customers at the bar, according to an arrest report.

when security asked him to leave, reports say brunson unzipped his pants and urinated at the bar, reports the naples daily news .

guess he really wanted a pissing match.

except when cops arrived, brunson ran.

four cops searching for him found brunson hiding in the bushes about a quarter-mile from the bar.

brunson then attempted to punch and kick a cop.

judging from his mug shot that was a big mistake.

photo: naples daily news

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is it us? or is it the heat?

we're blogging a lot about guys who can't keep their clothes on.

not that we have a problem with nudity or anything. we just don't want to witness a bunch of saggy, baggy guys flashing their stuff. sorry, but most of floriduh looks better covered up -- and that goes for the women, too.

and that's the problem. these guys go where we have to look.

the latest: a naked dude on wilderness trail at hanna park in jacksonville. it's popular with families. lots of kids around.

so recently two women were there, minding their business, when a nude dude approached.

"my cousin said to me, 'there's a naked man approaching us' and i thought she was joking and sure enough there was. and he came about 10 feet from where we were set up on the beach," the woman told first coast news .

but here's the best part.

the man started performing a sex act on himself.

the women began yelling at him and one reached for her cell phone to call the cops.

the man bolted back up the trail and ran into the parking lot, escaping capture -- again.

the cop told the women 'this guy's been at it for two years now. and we have yet to catch him.'

we'd love to add our own punchy line here, but some of you guys are far better at this than us.

so be our guest.....

photo: hanna park
city of jacksonville

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an $18,355 toilet???

no sh...!!!

it's on samsons island, a carless nature park between the banana river and grand canal off satellite beach.

there's no plumbing but there are strict environmental standards.

so the city installed an $18,335 ada compliant toilet, reports florida today.

but this is no ordinary toilet.

it's a specially designed "composting" outhouse built by the company clivus multrim.

here's how it works, as described by the company: the breakdown of waste is carried out by organisms that thrive within a temperature range of 20-45 degrees celsius (68-113 degrees fahrenheit). chief among these are a wide range of bacteria and fungi.

and also, tiny red worms.

we hope the dozen or so hikers who use the island on a typical weekend enjoy it.

after all, it never needs emptying.

sorry we can't say the same for taxpayer wallets.

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what's the world coming, too?

now it's tough being a nudist in key west.

key west! we didn't think getting naked there was a problem at all.

but even though a majority of the city commission agrees a nude beach could be good for tourism, they have to find the right spot.

the creation of a nude beach has become an issue in recent years as key west clothing-optional resorts have been converted into more upscale hotels and resorts.

most recently, the popular atlantic shores resort, with a clothing-optional pool bar, was leveled to make way for new, fancier units for the southernmost hotel collection.

the neighboring southernmost house, which allowed topless sunbathing on its patio, recently closed to the public.

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several years ago, the aging truman motel, which was clothing optional, was demolished, reports the florida keys news.

naturists want the city to establish a clothing-optional area at the end of smathers beach, across the street from the key west international airport.

all agree it could be a money-maker.

consider clothing optional haulover beach in miami-dade county.

it attracts 1.3 million visitors a year, roughly 7,000 to 8,500 beach-goers a day on busy weekends, the highest of any south florida beach, according to south florida free beaches.

more than 60 percent of the visitors are tourists.

haulover beach generates the most parking revenue of all miami-dade county's 255 parks, with $1.3 million a year.

that surprised even us. we've been to haulover more than we ever wanted -- to report newspaper stories -- not because we wanted to get sand in places you don't want to get sand.

our first-hand report: once was more than enough.

image: the monroe county tourist development council

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take our daughters and sons to work day sometimes works better in theory than in practice.

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especially if your parents work at the franklin correctional institution in carrabelle.

士。 walter schmidt wanted to give the kids an idea of what their parents do, reports the st. petersburg times.

so he took out a handheld stun device and zapped them with 50,000 volts of electricity -- that
feels like being zapped with volts that are 450 times as strong as the current in a household electrical outlet.

the children, whose ages are not available, reportedly yelped in pain, fell to the ground and grabbed red burn marks on their arms. one was taken to a nearby hospital.

doc spokeswoman jo ellyn rackleff said in an e-mail, "we believe that a number of children may have received a shock."

schmidt, the arsenal sergeant at the panhandle prison, said he asked parents for permission to shock the kids.

"when they said 'sure,' i went ahead and did it," he said by phone.

schmidt was terminated after 14 years with the department of corrections.

"it wasn't intended to be malicious, but educational," schmidt said. "the big shock came when i got fired."

photo: florida department of corrections

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someone shoots. and someone scores.

and we're not talking about a game on espn here.

not that thomas mccoy would notice.

he was too busy surfing espn.com to notice that two students weren't just playing games when they snuck behind a bookshelf.

mccoy, a lee county educational support employee, was supposed to be supervising four students in an exceptional student classroom at royal palm exceptional center while the usual teacher was off campus, reports the naples daily news.

but he was so into the jock stuff that he missed two students who went behind a bookshelf. then one performed a sex act on the other.

another employee, however, noticed that a real life lesson -- on sex -- was going on.

the employee happened to look through a window and noticed that whatever they were doing, it wasn't deconstructing proust.

mccoy received an e-mail one month before the incident asking him to closely supervise the 15-year-old girl because “there seem to be a few issues where she is concerned with the boys.”

uh, guess so.

the e-mail also stated she needs “visual supervision” at all times.

time for a change of guard. way past time.

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we know the perfect spot for thomas stewart martel.

he should live in that west coast nudist resort we're always blogging about.

last we heard about martel, 53, he was stark naked at a dunnellon intersection, according to an 81-year-old woman who said he also exposed himself to a neighbor and a passing motorist, reports the ocala star banner.

a cop spotted martel, who lives in the dunnelon area, naked in his front yard and leaning on a fence.

the deputy covered martel with a yellow blanket and transported him to the marion county jail.

sometimes we find ourselves thinking: cops -- they don't pay these folks enough.

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知道他们说什么。

timing is everything.

when michael r. williams, 21, and william l. woody, 22, tried to rob a woman at an atm in keystone heights, their timing was terrible.

just happened that at the same time the clay county sheriff's office was conducting a drug sweep operation in the area.

instead of one or two deputies in the area, more than 30 were nearby when someone reported the robbery at about 8:30 am

officers spread out to search for the robbers and, in about 30 minutes, found the two guys, reports the gainesville sun.

for the cops -- nice timing!

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，我的。 where am i going to store all my mink coats this summer?

and my vintage wines?

it's a real problem, especially for the wildly wealthy in palm beach.

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among their grand and decades-old traditions is lugging their fox stoles and mink coats to first national's (now wachovia) fur vault for safekeeping during the humid island summers.

even their vino. seems the vault protects the bottles from summer hurricanes and looters.

but now the palm beach rich got a chilling awakening: the deal is off.

some customers collected their goods grudgingly. one former bank employee said several have threatened that the closing of the vault will mean the closing of their wachovia bank accounts, reports the palm beach post.

kathy harrison, corporate communications manager, says, "we're in the business to provide financial services for our customers and make very efficient use of our time and our resources. and so continuing to maintain a cold storage for furs just doesn't make sense anymore in this day and time."

it cost about $10 per month to keep a coat in the vault, harrison said.

photo: palm beach daily news
island resident cathleen mcfarlane ross said she believes first national's fur storage service has been around for decades, perhaps since the 1920s, when the branch first opened.

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you know there's trouble when the girl involved is 15 and the guy is 21.

but that's how it goes.

the 15-year-old was at a bonfire at louis allen scott's home in holt when they talked about their age difference.

they exchanged cellular phone numbers and he tried to kiss her twice, though she pushed him away.

then she got a bunch of text messages from him asking her to sneak out and go for a ride in his truck, reports the northwest florida daily news.

then scott texted her saying he would like her to "be the first one" since he got out of prison.

the girl told the okaloosa county sheriff's office deputy she took that to mean the first one he has sex with since getting out of prison.

明的女孩。

scott told her to "come to the bedroom window and show me your boobies," according to his arrest report.

now this boob is in back in jail.

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we've been over this before

when you go to the courthouse, leave your pipe at home.

your marijuana pipe, we mean.

clinton j. gordon, 39, was arrested after a security officer determined he had something unusual to be checked at a security checkpoint at the downtown st. lucie courthouse.

it was a marijuana smoking pipe, according to the cop report.

how'd they know?

a cop decided, judging by the smell and residue, reports tcpalm.

you wonder what goes through someone's head.

going to the courthouse.

got my car keys. got my driver's license. got my dope pipe.

photo: clinton j. gordon

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